Monday, May 24, 2010

LOST, explained in Limericks. (For both fans, and non-fans)

Happy Monday y'all. 
The Winner of Sydney Salter's Jungle Crossing is...


Congratulations! Email me your address at brosam (at) gmail (dot) com

As most of you know, I am a geek at heart, so my weekend was centered around the LOST Series Finale. Don't worry if you haven't ever watched an episode. I have crafted a guide, in the form of Limericks, to tell you everything you need to know about the show.

I really need you non-fans to tell me if my Limericks make it all clear. 

So, without further adieu (what is a further adieu anyway?) I present...

THE LOST LIMERICKS! (For both fans and non-fans.)

There once was an island from nowhere
'Twas magic, so no compass could show where.
It summoned a bunch of strangers
who faced many dangers
When their plane exploded out of the cold air

There once was a doctor named Jack
whose drunken antics in the O-R garnered flack
Redemption seemed lost,
Til the island's path he crossed
Giving him the chance to defeat the man in black.

There once was an outlaw named Kate
who blew up the stepdad she hate.... ed
a fugitive on the run
til she crashlanded in the island sun
And had to decide whether Sawyer or Jack was her fate. 

There once was a scam man named Sawyer
Whose way with nicknames couldn't be coyer
He changed his rebel ways
When Juliet set his heart ablaze,
But he was shattered when a large bomb destroyed her.

There once was a cripple named Locke
Who's sudden ability to walk caused a shock
A man of faith and hope
Until Ben killed him with a rope
And he became the meanest Smoke Monster on the Block

There once was a rich man named Hurley
Who, despite island diet and exercise, remained burly.
He communed with the dead
Went nuts in the head
He guarded the light and kept his hair curly.

There once was a war between the man in black and the man in white,
whose battlefield was this island that remained out of sight.
These stranded strangers fought back,
as time and space got out of whack,
and in the end... um, in the end... they ended up sitting in a church. Naturally.

Of course that's where they'd end up. I mean, what did you think was going to happen? They'd escape off the island and live happily ever after? Bah! I totally saw that coming. All seasons pointed to them one day sitting in pews in an empty church. Derh.

Anyone else see it? What did you think? And for you non-fans, if you didn't see it, did my limericks help you feel caught up?


  1. I didn't know what to think about the end, I've been such big fan since the begining and the end just left me wanting even more. I'm so sad it's over. =(

  2. I'm not sure if I'm more Lost or less Lost, but I know for sure I was entertained! I did not watch the show, but I think your limerick summed it up nicely!

  3. I haven't watched the finale yet (it's on DVR), but I'm DYING to see what happens. Thanks for not including spoilers (the empty church does nothing for me - huh?). The limericks are classic - Sawyer's is my favorite (especially since I never liked Juliet).

    As soon as I watch the finale, I'll come back and give you my opinion. I expect you to hold your breath 'til then.

  4. Um, wow? I feel so caught up now! Thanks, Brodi!

  5. I didn't get past season two ... so WTH? Ben killed Locke? I guess I have some catching up to do.

    Love the verse about Hurley. He should have dropped a pound or two by now. Poor guy must have damaged his metabolism in the crash.

  6. That was great! Loved it. LOVE LOST so much, I admit I cried quite a bit last night. I was emotionally satisfied, but there were still quite a few questions left unanswered.
    I read in EW that the producers wanted to leave things up to the fans' imaginations. Um, I don't have one, so I'd just like you to tell me please.

  7. Ack! What is wrong with my internet? So, I'm getting your comments by email, but they keep disappearing on the blog post.

    I hope it gets its butt in gear soon. Thanks for the patience.

  8. Cynthia- I'm sad too. It's like the end of an era, and I hate eras.

    Una- Less Lost! Thanks also for pointing out that I misspelled "Limmerick". I feel like such a doofus!

    Susan- Breath, held.

    Jenilyn- Limericks always make things clearer.

  9. I need to watch all the episodes to get caught up. You don't happen to have the DVD's by chance? Loved the limerick. It totally caught me up. You are very clever.

  10. I've never watched Lost or felt a need to, and now thanks to you I can act like I know all about it!

    Also, I believe it's 'further ADO'

  11. Huh... I'm still LOST, and no I haven't watched the show, but I thought your limericks were funny. So that's good. ;-)

    BTW, did you get my email last week with my address? I never heard back. Let me know and I can email you again if I need to.

  12. I didn't...I spelled it just like you did and the computer caught it so I let it fix it. Ah, I see you fixed it too! =)

    By the way, when I posted this morning, it said 1 comment, but when I came to the screen, there was nothing. Then after I posted, it said "2 comments" and when I clicked, it only showed mine. However it seems to be showing all of them now. Strange!

  13. I knew enough about LOST to understand what happened yesterday. But, I don't know enough about LOST to get everything. I have probably seen 10 episodes the most. I realized during the 2-hour recap that I had seen all the poignant episodes, though, except the one when Charlie died. (I'm glad I missed that one because I love Charlie.)

    I really liked the ending. I'm not sure if I would've felt differently had I seen every episode. The hubs (and my niece and nephew-in-law) has seen them all and he (they) liked the ending. So, I'm sure it was okay.

    Your limericks were awesome. I especially liked Locke's and Hurley's.

  14. LOL

    Really, none of it makes much sense to me, but I've not seen a single episode.

    One day.... one day... (after all that's what season dvds and libraries are for)

  15. folksinmt- Uh oh. Hope I didn't totally just spoil it for you! It's okay, though, because I've seen all the episodes, and I don't really remember what happened in any of them.

    Kimberly- I know! What makes the producers think my imagination will be in any way satisfying? My imagination sucks!

    Erin- I'm not quite geek enough to own every season of Lost on DVD. Something to aspire to, though, someday.

    Heather- You mean it's not "without further (german word for goodbye)"? Thanks! I knew it didn't look quite right. It was either that, or without further Adoodoo.

    Sara- Yes! I got your email, and then promptly got the book in an envelope, and then promptly put that envelope on my kitchen counter, where it's been sitting for 7 days straight. I'll get on it.

    Una- I never trust spellcheck, even though it's always right. (Although, how right can it be when it doesn't recognize the word "spellcheck"?)

    Jenni- Sam insists I've seen every episode, but every time they show that someone died, or someone got blown up, or someone drowned, I'm all, "Wait! That guy's dead? When did that happen?"

    Britt- You'll probably watch the DVD's years from now, you'll be all, "That's what all the fuss was about? What a waste of time."

  16. I'm a great Lost fan. I totally thought they would end up in their lives as depicted on this season - after all, Juliet did say the bomb worked. Also, how did Jack do Lock's surgery and Clair have her baby if they were not alive? Why was the plane shown at the end leaving with most of the people on it? I just don't get it!

  17. Haven't seen a single episode of Lost. Know zero characters and zero plot development. But wow - now I don't need to! Years of watching reduced to five (were there five?) short limericks. You're brilliant Brod! So... were you disappointed with the big ending?

  18. My husband & I are totally lost geeks. We watched the first couple episodes & said, "Dude, if the island has dinos we're gonna quit watching it."

    Glad there weren't dinos & glad we kept watching it.

    It didn't answer nearly enough for me- HELLO 4 TOED STATUE, ANYONE!?!? but it was satisfying & I cried (I'm an emotional geek, okay!)

    Thanks for the limericks. I dug it!

  19. Sara- I have the same question about Juliet's bomb. What exactly did it do?

    Cath- I'm convinced that if I love a television show, the series finale rarely lives up to what I think it should be. I'm glad you made it through this post, bad poetry and all!

    Olivia- I know! Each time someone in the sideways world got their memories back, I teared up!

  20. Hooray! I've always wanted to get caught up on a popular TV show I've never seen by reading limericks about it. This is perfect because limericks make me giggle and TV is meant to be giggled about, not taken seriously, IMHO. :D

  21. Nikki- Limericks make everything better, don't they?

  22. I watched the first season or so and then missed a couple episodes... and it was all over. You're never gonna recover from that--even with recap episodes every month!

    If they'd all spoken in limericks, though, it would have been easier to follow. Why didn't they think of that?