Knife Fights at Cub Country, and overly Specific signs of the North West

Happy Friday! I love Fridays in the summer. The kids are so bored, they start to pull each other's arm hairs out for entertainment. 

Here's a rundown of recent goings-on, and some thoughts.

1. Kid C attended his very first Cub Country yesterday. I could tell he was a little nervous because he was asking an unusual amount of "what if" questions. He reached the breaking point on the drive to the church, when he asked, "What if a knife fight breaks out?"

What kid isn't scared of a knife fight breaking out at Cub Country?

 (This is how he looks when we tell him to smile. As a side note, I always discounted those crime shows that could make out the murderer's identity in a reflection, but check out the clarity in my sunglasses. It's like a movie projector.)

2. Seattle is very specific in their signage. One of their road signs read, "Please Don't Drug and Drive." We kept waiting for the sign that read, "Please Don't Shroom and Drive Either."

It culminated in this sign at one of the hundred or so hikes we went on:

3.  My mom and I were in a gift shop on San Juan Island, and in the corner was a sad little display rack of new/used books, with the sign "Bargain Busters: Pick any 2 for $1.99."

I was perusing the selection and wondering how each little title ended up here, when my mom came up behind me and said, "Don't worry. Someday your book is going to be on that shelf too. It won't be long."

 Um, thanks Mom. Here's to a future where my book ranks just above the expired food section of a grocery store. Someday, if I'm lucky, I'll be offering someone money to just take my book home.

So, what are y'all doing this weekend? Anything fun?

Washington State by the Pictures... and Yes, I did see Forks

Hey Y'all. I'm still going through all the pics from our trip, but here's an initial rundown:

We hiked...

and carried sticks...

and hiked and carried sticks...

and hiked. And carried sticks.

and climbed through tree trunks... while carrying sticks.

We saw Mt. Rainier...

We saw giant tree trunks, of trees that were 500 years old. Or 5,000. We told the kids that these trees were around when hobbits ruled the world, because that's the kind of history lesson I like to teach.

We saved this tree from falling, thus missing out on our chance to find out the truth behind the old adage, "If a tree falls in the forest..."  Our kids are still there today, doing their service to their national park.

We crossed bridges, recklessly disregarding the silly sign that read: "One at a Time!"

We saw amazing views in the Olympic National Park

We rode ferries to Seattle...

and ferries to the San Juan Islands

We saw Orcas, or "Killer Whales".

We made necklaces out of seaweed. Yes that is seaweed. I later convinced him to leave it as an offering to this one lighthouse. I told him it was an ancient American Indian tradition, begun by the hobbits and carried forth by the unicorns.

We played frisbee with a jellyfish. Nephew A has since lost all feeling in his hands. But how often can you say you played frisbee with a jellyfish?

We had one DS for the six kids. Doesn't this picture look like something out of Oliver Twist? Like little Asher has the last piece of bread? Or they're all huddled around one little flame?

We scared Kid C to death by making him perch on the ledge for a picture, but achieved our goal of inducing a lifelong love affair with vertigo.

We held on to Daddy's hair for dear life.

We pulled the old Bella/Edward move on Second Beach in La Push. (I know, I know, it's not authentic because Edward would never be allowed on Second Beach...) I slipped a disc after this move. And tore another hole in my heart.

The requisite picture of me and the Forks sign. My family still has no idea why I stopped for this. All I can say about the city of Forks is... the public restrooms were just fine.

While in Forks, I discovered the store where Stephenie Meyer must have come up with the title for Twilight. (As a side note, isn't "twilight" just another way of saying "dusk"? Has anyone ever been dazzled by dusk? If anything, it's just harder to see...)

And that is an overview of our trip. I'll have some more stories on Friday. Now I'm off to a day of writing at Borders with Bree Despain. And by writing, I mean we'll dish about the latest goings on, and we'll grab some lunch. 

What are y'all up to?

Washington State by the Numbers

Oh my. It feels like I've been gone for a few years. We spent last week in Washington State with my family, my sister's family, and my parents. Our condo there had no Wi-Fi, which is a concept I simply don't understand. 

Anywho, I'm crazy unpacking and recuperating right now, so here's a quick post.

Washington State by the numbers:

Total number of miles driven: 2653.

Total number of miles driven in quiet solitude: 2.7 

Number of ferries taken: 7

Number of times the lake monster attacked our ferry: 0. (I was rather disappointed. Whenever movies show ferries, someone gets murdered, or monsters attack.)

Number of games of "Tag, you're it" played inside the car: 4,382

Number of times we tried to explain tag inside a car was not supposed to be fun: 4,381

Number of times my mom - because of the one hour time difference - started out the day saying, "What are we going to do with our extra hour today?": 7

Number of DVD's we  bought for the trip: 8

Number of DVD's Kid B would allow to play in the car: 1 (Sonic the Hedgehog, a cheesy 80's cartoon version of the game)

Number of nights we were up singing the Sonic theme song: 7

Number of hikes: 12

Number of beaches: 6

Number of hikes to beaches: 6

Number of times Nephew A complained, "All we ever do is hike to beaches!": several

Number of times a few of the adults secretly agreed with him: several

Time on the clock when we entered the fabled Forks, Washington: 10:47 a.m.

Time on the clock when we exited the fabled Forks, Washington: 10:54 a.m. (It would've been shorter, but I had to use the bathroom)

Number of Twilight themed stores we saw, including "Jacob Black's Power Tool Rentals" (which hubby thought was not really playing for the appropriate audience, because would the people who  actually rent power tools really be impressed by a connection to Twilight?): 8

Number of days we thought we had rented the condo for: 7

Number of days we actually rented the condo for: 6

Number of minutes we had to pack on the last day: 15

Number of minutes we'd been home before Kid C said, "I'm bored": 3

Number of times I've counted the calendar days until school starts again: Countless. 

I missed y'all. You have no idea how many times I checked my emails, hoping for comments, and then remembering there was nothing to comment on. It's good to be back. 

I'll share pics and stories on Wednesday and Friday. How's your summer been?

Be Vewwwy Vewwy Quiet. I'm Hunting Vampires.

And the winner of Kristen Landon's LIFE IN THE PIT is...

Rue

Congratulations! Email me your address: brodiashton (at) gmail (dot) com.

I won't be here Friday. My family is driving to Washington State, where we will be swinging from the trees for about nine days. Don't worry about my fish. We have friends house-sitting, and they are perfectly capable of killing a fish. 

I've never been to Washington state, so I've been studying maps of the area. Here's a general map of the state. The yellow star is where we're going.

Let's zoom in a bit.

Yep. It's the Olympic Peninsula. I can't wait, because I've never been there, but I've heard it's beautiful. I've also heard it rains a lot. And I've heard there are quite a few unexplained disappearances and an extraordinary number of animal maulings. 

I see something over on the other side of the peninsula. Let's zoom in even closer.

 

Whoa. That does not look safe. Thank goodness I'll be on the east side of the peninsula. Let's zoom in to the area where I'll be, and see if it's any better.

What? An entire region full of sexy vamps and weres, and I get the werewolf with 80's Richard Marx hair playing air guitar and the vamp with the high collar and the creepy-old-man look? No way do I want to confess my innermost secrets to him. Mostly I just wanna keep my kids away from him.

Where are the vamps that sparkle? I WANT SPARKLIES!

Vampiric Jack Bauer has a point there. 

So, wish me a safe voyage in the great Northwest. If I'm not lucky enough to run into sparkly vamps, here's hoping for a sasquatch sighting.

Blogging might be a bit sporadic, but I'll try to update y'all on the adventures!