You tell me: Does it Bother You to Read about Puke?

Housekeeping:

1. The winner of the EVERNEATH arc is up on Debbie's and Windy's blogs. It's the first book I've ever signed, and I was a little nervous. Seriously, why would someone want my autograph? So, I embellished a little. 

Now, it's actually worth something.

2. Each Tuesday and Thursday, I will be posting exclusive quotes from EVERNEATH on the EVERNEATH facebook page. The first two quotes (introducing you to Nikki and Jack) are up. Scroll down the wall to find them. (I just saw I have 199 "likes". Quick! Go be #200!)

On to the post:

More Evidence a Critique Group is Invaluable

The other evening, we had a critique group, and I submitted my first couple of chapters. In them, one of the characters pukes. 

Here's where an astute critique group comes in. Bree Despain was very concerned about the puking. 

Bree: "But... where did it land."

me: "Where did what land?"

Bree: "The puke. I mean, you said it was 'firehose proportions'. Did it... spray everywhere?"

me: "I don't know. It was just puke."

Bree: "But then... she... talks afterward."

me: "Yeah?"

Bree: "I mean, does she have little bits of... puke stuck in her teeth?"

me: "Fine, I'll give her a piece of gum."

Bree: "But... then won't the gum have little bits of puke in it?"

me: "Fine. She can rinse her mouth out, and then she can chew the gum."

Bree: "And then... what about her nose-"

me: "She'll blow her nose!"

Bree: "And then you say some of it lands on that guy's shoe."

me: "Yeah..."

Bree: "I mean, that is just disgusting. And the smell..."

me: "Okay, how about this? When she feels it coming on, she leans over the railing of the porch, and cleanly pukes in the bush. The wind is blowing in the opposite direction, so there's no smell. After she pukes, she takes the garden hose, washes her mouth out, farmer-blows her nose, and then unwraps a piece of gum."

Bree (considering): "That doesn't seem very realistic."

me: "ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!"

She's right though. The last thing I want people imagining when they read my book is the pungent smell of rancid puke. I mean, sure it's fine for the blog on a Friday morning. But in a book? Not so much. 

What do y'all think? 

I don't know about you, but when I'm at a movie, and I see the couple wake up in the morning... and kiss... in bed... all I can think is, "Hello! Disgusting morning breath!"  So I can totally see where she's coming from.

Five Things on my Mind... My Tiny Tiny Mind

Hey y'all.

So, if you're interested in who will win the EVERNEATH arc, the winner will be announced on Friday on Debbie and Windy's blogs. 

Five Things that are On My Mind:

1. Welcome to all the new blog visitors! I hope you enjoy your stay here. 

Here's the ten cent tour. 

This is that literary device known as a "Blog within a Blog"

Would you like to...

Ask me a question?

If you want to ask me a question, check the FAQ section. If your question isn't there (and it probably isn't, because that section is skin and bones) then please ask away in the comments section or send me an email!

Email me?

Check the "Contact Me" tab for my email address.

Request an ARC?

Check the "Contact Me" tab, and you will find instructions on how to contact my rockin' publicist.

See a picture of me with a pickle on my face?

Check the "About Me" page.

Get a sneak peek at quotes from Everneath?

Check the Everneath Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/Everneath

So, welcome y'all! Thanks for stopping by!

2. Ever since I got a box of ARCs in my mailbox, I've been ruined for the mailman. 

Pretty Mail

 He comes to my door, and I whip it open and tackle him, wrenching the bundle of envelopes out of his hands. 

Then I stand up and use my foot in his stomach to hold him down. I thumb through the stack, with a frantic look in my eye, and when I have determined the mail is not interesting, I scream, "THIS IS IT??!! When did the Postal System start hiring stupid people??!!"

3. It's a great day to be a criminal in America.

4. Happy Birthday America!

Sam (hubby, who is frugal) bought the $20 fireworks "Super-Pack" from Costco. He was very proud of himself. I wondered if 20 dollars could really buy anything worthwhile. 

I was wrong. 20 dollars can get you so many smoke bombs, you won't know what to do with them. Literally. You'll invite your extended family over for a "fireworks display" and they'll be sitting there, waiting to be entertained, and all you'll have is smoke bombs. 

We lit bomb after bomb, and forced the audience to enthusiastically shout out the color of the smoke. No one was allowed to complain, or say things like, "I drove all the way over her for this %&$#!" For the big finale, we lit two smoke bombs at once. 

It was amazing. A great dedication to our country.

5. Today we're going to Lagoon. 

No, no, not this Lagoon:

This Lagoon:

It's What Fun Is! If Fun is Throwing up! Which it is in our family!

So, what's on your mind today?

Thing #1 and Thing #1: the Jacob and Esau of Tomato Plants, and the Hairy Beast I met

Hey y'all. 

Before we get to the post, I'd like you to know EVERNEATH has a Facebook page! It's here: www.facebook.com/everneath

So, if you feel inclined, please stop on by and "like" the heck out of it. :)

And now, it's time for...

Thing #1 and Thing #1!

Thing #1

If tomato plants can ever be described as "crazy", this is the time.

Both of my tomato plants were planted at the same time, in similar pots, with similar soil, and equal water/sun exposure.

Yet look at them:

One of these plants is not like the other...

How does this happen?

Now, I could relate this to the publishing world (why does one story get published and another doesn't?) or the parenting world (why does one kid in the same gene pool and the same environment have issues and the other one doesn't?) but today, I'm thinking... they're just tomato plants.

Maybe there is no higher meaning.

Like any respectable ancient civilization, we took the weaker plant and sacrificed it to the gods by hurling it off a cliff, and yelling, "Only the strong survive! Viva la strong plants!"

Thing #1

This next one is indeed a THING. The other day, my cousins and I took our kids to the "This is the Place" Heritage Park.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the vernacular, "This is the Place" Heritage Park is so named because when Brigham Young arrived in the Salt Lake Valley with the pioneers, he said, "Let's make this a really long pit stop!"

The park is a mini-pioneer village, and it is filled with mini-pioneers. It is a place stuck in time, where traditional chores are valued...

Here you see two swarthy men performing the daily task of "Breaking Stick"

... Child Labor Laws are scarce...

"Mush, Tommy. MUSH!!"

... And the people are much larger than usual...

Here, we see giants riding an actual pioneer train.

We also caught a glimpse of one of the strangest animals I've ever seen:

It's kind of a mix of a cow and a horse. So, it's a "Corse", of course... or a "How". Either way, it's a hairy beast. 

What about y'all? Anyone doing anything fun for the holiday? Anyone know what this animal is? Anyone else worried that they've relaxed the restrictions on aerial fireworks, which basically means they've put surface-to-air missiles in the hands of thousands of 8-year-olds?

Have a great weekend!

The Snarky Question-Maker gives an Introduction to my Blog

Hey y'all. How goes it?

I thought since we have a few new visitors (Hi! new people!) today could be an introduction post. So I've awakened that sleeping giant, the great Question-Maker (who lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars) to interview me.

Question-Maker: yawn, stretch, crick. "Hey, every- whoa. A lotta new faces around here. What happened?"

me: "Well, dear Question-Maker-"

QM: "That's Mr. Question-Maker to you."

me: "But we've known each other for years! We should be on a first name basis. What do you call me?"

QM: "A nickname I only use on special occasions."

me: "What occasions?"

QM: "Right after you've left a room." snort

me: "..."

QM: "..."

me: "Okay, so we have some new faces I think because of the EVERNEATH cover reveal, and I think because of the ARC."

QM: "What's an ARC?"

me: "An Advanced Reader Copy of my book. I got them last week. Wanna see a pic?

The cover makes my hand look even uglier.

I love it so much."

QM: "You know the rule about loving your ARC?"

me: "No."

QM: "You can love your ARC, just don't love your ARC."

me: "I would never-"

QM: "That means no petting."

me: "Dang!"

QM: "So, for the new people around here (and I really don't know why they would want to spend time here)-"

me: "Stop with the asides!"

QM: "Sorry, that was supposed to be an internal aside. So, for the new people - and welcome, you smart people - tell us a little about your blog."

me: "Okay. I blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I blog about writing and books, but even more I blog about random stuff."

QM: "Like that time you got stuck in a bathroom on Venice Beach?" snicker snicker

me: "... and I blog about other things too."

QM: "Like that time you shouted 'belly boobs!' to an elevator full of strangers?"

me: "That was not my fault! ... It was the fault of the shirt I was wearing."

QM: "I think those are great examples about what you can expect on the blog."

me: "I also blog about this guy a lot:"

Rafa Nadal, celebrating right after he heard he would be featured on my blog.

"He's playing in the quarterfinals of Wimbledon today."

QM: "What's Wimbledon?"

me: "It's only like the most important tennis tournament in the world."

QM: "What's tennis?"

me: "Seriously, do you even read my blog?"

QM: "I thought you already knew the answer to that question."

me: "And... that's it for the Question Maker! Thank you for your help."

QM: "I'm not done yet-"

me: "Thanks so much for stopping by!"

QM: "But I still have more-"

me: "Have I described Rafa's hip dents to you lately?"

They are defined, and pointy.

QM: "You're right. Look at the time. See y'all next time!"

Okay, so that was the Question Maker! If you would like to run a question through the Question-Maker, and have me answer it, you can leave it in the comments.

And if you're new here, take a moment. Introduce yourself. We're very nice around here, and we only bite on special occasions. Like Tuesdays.

I'll even give you a question form you can use:
1. Name
2. A little bit about yourself
3. How would you describe Rafa's hip dents?

How my Blog Dressed to Match my Cover, and Some Other Covers I Love.

Hey y'all!

Do you notice anything different around here?

No, I haven't lost weight. But thank you.

It's my blog! After the big Cover Reveal last Friday, I received a lot of suggestions that I should dress to match my book:

Since there's no way I could rock that dress, or even squeeze into that dress, I decided to dress up my blog to match. What do you think?

Also, I have to give a big shout out to the world wide web for all of their support over the cover. And let me tell you, that cover took a lot of work. First, I had to find the girl. Then, I had to shop at JC Penny for the dress. Then - this was the hardest part - I had to search the world for some smoke/cloud/fog action...

Okay, I had nothing to do with the cover. Huge thanks for the cover team at HarperCollins. Did you know there are graphic design guys that specialize in smoke?

Anyway, since I've sort of been cover-obsessed this past week, I'd love to share with you some of my favorite covers of recent and upcoming books:

First up, IMAGINARY GIRLS by Nova Ren Suma:

I think Nova should totally dress to match.

It's so darn lovely. And mysterious.

Next up, and keeping with the water theme, THE UNBECOMING OF MARA DYER by Michelle Hodkin. 

Some guys are hot enough that you wouldn't mind being pulled under with them.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about underwater shots, but they are so awesome!

And, now, we have an upcoming book, INCARNATE by Jodi Meadows:

Um... you have something on your face... near your eyes...

I think this cover is so different than anything I've seen lately! I love the colors, and I have to know why her eyes have wings!!

And, in keeping with the "winged creatures on the face" theme, here is another one I love, LUMINOUS, by Dawn Metcalf:

It says something good about a person when butterflies love her.

Oh, man. So so pretty!

This is why I love hardcover books so much. They are works of art! So, what are some covers you love? 

Also, a reminder that if you'd like a chance to win an arc of EVERNEATH, stop by CranberryFries and Windy's blogs. All you have to do is assemble the right phrase to tweet. It's sort of like a treasure hunt, and who doesn't love a treasure hunt?

Happy EVERNEATH Cover Reveal Day!

Hey y'all! 


Happy Friday! Or as I like to call it, Happy EVERNEATH Cover Reveal Day! (Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday Mom. It really is her birthday.)


Anywho, there are some awesome things going on today, but on other blogs. So today, we have linky soup. 


First off is the official cover release at the Pageturners blog. So, if you want to see my cover, and possibly leave a comment as to how beautiful you think it is, but only if you do think it's beautiful, click here.


Your Chance to Win an ARC of EVERNEATH!


And, would you like to have a chance to win an ARC (Advanced Reader Copy, available now!) of EVERNEATH? 


Then head over to Debbie CranberryFries' blog at 10:00 a.m. Mountain Standard Time (You know, the other one in the middle!) for some exclusivey Everneath stuff and directions on how to enter the contest! 


I believe the entries involve tweeting something. So Debbie's blog will have the first half of the tweet, and then Windy (Like the Weather)'s blog will have the second half. 


Then all you need to do is figure out the function of X using a Pythagorean theorem, and voila!


Kidding. All you need to do is tweet on the Tweeter!


So, head on out. And thank you for joining me in this crazy journey. Today is another one of those milestones, and thanks for celebrating with me!


I love everyone. Especially you.

Info on my First ARC giveaway, and the Plan to Reveal the Cover of Everneath

Sorry so late, y'all. Blogger was a beast this morning.

So, I got something awesome in the mail yesterday. That sentence reminds me of Cold Comfort Farm, where the matriarch repeats over and over, "I saw something nasty in the woodshed," but we never find out what exactly she saw.

Well, that is not going to happen here. I can't divulge certain things, but I will give you some hints.

Hint #1:

It's rectangular

Hint #2:

As Hamlet would say, it is filled with "Words, words... words."

Hint #3:

It's something I wrote.

Hint #4:

It's a book.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little obvious. But I'm used to playing Hangman with Kid C, and I'm finding my hints are not cutting it.

Poor man on the rope didn't stand a chance.

Maybe you have already guessed, but if you haven't, here is one final clue:

Hint #5: It starts with an E and ends with a VERNEATH.

Give up? Okay, it's my ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) of EVERNEATH! I can't show you the actual book yet, because the awesome Pageturners Blog is hosting a BIG REVEAL on Friday of the final cover, which I haven't even seen yet.

But I can show you the breadth of my work. And by breadth, I mean width.

Maybe an inch and a half? Two?

And I can show you what it's like to flip through the pages:

As I said, the Pageturners Blog is revealing the cover on Friday. And that's not all! Would you like to know how you can win a signed ARC, among other EVERNEATH goodies? 

Windy (Like the Weather) and Debbie (CranberryFries) are hosting exclusive interviews with me on Friday as well, and between their two blogs, you will be able to find out how to enter to win the ARC! 

So... plan on Friday. Stop by Pageturners and let me know what you think of the cover, and then pop on over to Windy and Debbie to enter the contest. 

It's my first ARC giveaway! Woo Hoo!

Any theories on what the cover will look like?