1. The winner of the EVERNEATH arc is up on Debbie's and Windy's blogs. It's the first book I've ever signed, and I was a little nervous. Seriously, why would someone want my autograph? So, I embellished a little.
|Now, it's actually worth something.|
2. Each Tuesday and Thursday, I will be posting exclusive quotes from EVERNEATH on the EVERNEATH facebook page. The first two quotes (introducing you to Nikki and Jack) are up. Scroll down the wall to find them. (I just saw I have 199 "likes". Quick! Go be #200!)
On to the post:
More Evidence a Critique Group is Invaluable
The other evening, we had a critique group, and I submitted my first couple of chapters. In them, one of the characters pukes.
Here's where an astute critique group comes in. Bree Despain was very concerned about the puking.
Bree: "But... where did it land."
me: "Where did what land?"
Bree: "The puke. I mean, you said it was 'firehose proportions'. Did it... spray everywhere?"
me: "I don't know. It was just puke."
Bree: "But then... she... talks afterward."
Bree: "I mean, does she have little bits of... puke stuck in her teeth?"
me: "Fine, I'll give her a piece of gum."
Bree: "But... then won't the gum have little bits of puke in it?"
me: "Fine. She can rinse her mouth out, and then she can chew the gum."
Bree: "And then... what about her nose-"
me: "She'll blow her nose!"
Bree: "And then you say some of it lands on that guy's shoe."
Bree: "I mean, that is just disgusting. And the smell..."
me: "Okay, how about this? When she feels it coming on, she leans over the railing of the porch, and cleanly pukes in the bush. The wind is blowing in the opposite direction, so there's no smell. After she pukes, she takes the garden hose, washes her mouth out, farmer-blows her nose, and then unwraps a piece of gum."
Bree (considering): "That doesn't seem very realistic."
She's right though. The last thing I want people imagining when they read my book is the pungent smell of rancid puke. I mean, sure it's fine for the blog on a Friday morning. But in a book? Not so much.
What do y'all think?
I don't know about you, but when I'm at a movie, and I see the couple wake up in the morning... and kiss... in bed... all I can think is, "Hello! Disgusting morning breath!" So I can totally see where she's coming from.