Shouldn't the Art of Shoe-Tying be a Natural Instinct?

I know we shouldn't have bought him all those velcro shoes. 

I know I shouldn't have given up on trying to teach him the "rabbit in the tree" technique.

But seriously, he's eight years old. And this is the best he can do?

Kid C demonstrates the Gordian knot, which is often used to tie aircraft carriers to the dock.

My pediatrician used to tell me - in reference to a pacifier addiction - "Don't worry about it! He'll lose it. How many first graders have you seen with a binkie?"

Does the same hold true with tying his shoes? 

Will my kid be the only sixteen-year-old on the basketball court with a 3-D representation of String Theory on his foot?

Will the ref have to pause the game so Kid C's mom can rush down the stand to tie his shoes? 

When is someone going to get on the ball and teach my kid how to tie his shoes? 

I'm sorry... Did you just say I'm supposed to teach him?

I did not sign up for this. The thing is, I know how to tie my own shoes, but I don't know how to explain the technique except to say, "I know it when I see it."

That whole rabbit and the tree thing? I've never understood it. Bunny ears? I've never had the dexterity. 

But something must be done. And it will be. When Sam gets home.

Isn't there a shoe-tying day-camp we can send him to? Why can't shoe-tying be learned from osmosis? Or just be a natural instinct? 

Like they show on the nature channel. 

"The baby seal is only a few hours old, and yet he slides over the ice like his elder siblings. Sensing he is not alone in this world, he instinctively knows to stay near his protective mother. By tomorrow, he will be hunting alongside her. And by Thursday, he will tie his shoe."

Is my kid alone on this?

The Awesomeness that is the First Draft: The Top Three Crappy Things I do in First Drafts

EVERNEATH got an awesome review over at the fiction fairy.

But don't worry. I haven't let it go to my head. Because right after I read that review, I went through a first draft of my sequel, and that was enough to squash my ego, and make me think, "Ohmyheck, I'm too stupid to live."

One of the worst things about writing/reading through a first draft is the gigantic amount of "telling, not showing" instead of "showing, not telling". 

Bree Despain and I were at our weekly writing session, and we were talking about the biggest culprits in our first drafts.

1.  My personal favorite is the "Able to tell in a person's face what he or she is thinking".

Now, sometimes it's okay to say "I could tell from his expression that he had no idea what I was talking about."

But other times, the offense is egregious. 

An example of this is: 

"He gave me a look that said later tonight, when you're alone, I'm totally gonna sneak in your room and scare you."

or

"The way he salted his eggs told me he was thinking about that one time, at band camp, when it was more than our flutes making music..."

2.  Next, we have the "Inappropriate Metaphors or Similes to Explain a Point"

It's maybe okay to say:

"The air became hot, as if I was suddenly covered in a warm blanket."

But first drafts sometimes read like:

"The cool air washed over me like a donkey in heat, high on huffing glue."

It's okay to be unique, and not use cliches, but sometimes these can feel like a stretch.

3. Finally, we have the "There are only so many ways to describe a smile."

My characters smile. A lot. Despite all the destruction raining down on them, they smile.  Despite the fact that many lives are on the line, they smile.

Sometimes, both ends of their mouth pull up. 

Sometimes they grin, widely.

Sometimes one corner of their mouth quirks up. 

Sometimes they half-smile. 

Sometimes they "smile a smile that doesn't reach their eyes".

Sometimes their mouths resemble a "half-moon, on its side". 

Sometimes their lips quiver, on their way to a half smile, but then the sadness in their eyes extinguishes all evidence of said smile. 

My point is, it's okay for these things to exist. In a first draft. Use them to get to the end of your Work-In-Progress. That's what revising is for! What are some of your biggest culprits? Have you read any books lately that are guilty of these?

You tell me: Does it Bother You to Read about Puke?

Housekeeping:

1. The winner of the EVERNEATH arc is up on Debbie's and Windy's blogs. It's the first book I've ever signed, and I was a little nervous. Seriously, why would someone want my autograph? So, I embellished a little. 

Now, it's actually worth something.

2. Each Tuesday and Thursday, I will be posting exclusive quotes from EVERNEATH on the EVERNEATH facebook page. The first two quotes (introducing you to Nikki and Jack) are up. Scroll down the wall to find them. (I just saw I have 199 "likes". Quick! Go be #200!)

On to the post:

More Evidence a Critique Group is Invaluable

The other evening, we had a critique group, and I submitted my first couple of chapters. In them, one of the characters pukes. 

Here's where an astute critique group comes in. Bree Despain was very concerned about the puking. 

Bree: "But... where did it land."

me: "Where did what land?"

Bree: "The puke. I mean, you said it was 'firehose proportions'. Did it... spray everywhere?"

me: "I don't know. It was just puke."

Bree: "But then... she... talks afterward."

me: "Yeah?"

Bree: "I mean, does she have little bits of... puke stuck in her teeth?"

me: "Fine, I'll give her a piece of gum."

Bree: "But... then won't the gum have little bits of puke in it?"

me: "Fine. She can rinse her mouth out, and then she can chew the gum."

Bree: "And then... what about her nose-"

me: "She'll blow her nose!"

Bree: "And then you say some of it lands on that guy's shoe."

me: "Yeah..."

Bree: "I mean, that is just disgusting. And the smell..."

me: "Okay, how about this? When she feels it coming on, she leans over the railing of the porch, and cleanly pukes in the bush. The wind is blowing in the opposite direction, so there's no smell. After she pukes, she takes the garden hose, washes her mouth out, farmer-blows her nose, and then unwraps a piece of gum."

Bree (considering): "That doesn't seem very realistic."

me: "ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!"

She's right though. The last thing I want people imagining when they read my book is the pungent smell of rancid puke. I mean, sure it's fine for the blog on a Friday morning. But in a book? Not so much. 

What do y'all think? 

I don't know about you, but when I'm at a movie, and I see the couple wake up in the morning... and kiss... in bed... all I can think is, "Hello! Disgusting morning breath!"  So I can totally see where she's coming from.

Five Things on my Mind... My Tiny Tiny Mind

Hey y'all.

So, if you're interested in who will win the EVERNEATH arc, the winner will be announced on Friday on Debbie and Windy's blogs. 

Five Things that are On My Mind:

1. Welcome to all the new blog visitors! I hope you enjoy your stay here. 

Here's the ten cent tour. 

This is that literary device known as a "Blog within a Blog"

Would you like to...

Ask me a question?

If you want to ask me a question, check the FAQ section. If your question isn't there (and it probably isn't, because that section is skin and bones) then please ask away in the comments section or send me an email!

Email me?

Check the "Contact Me" tab for my email address.

Request an ARC?

Check the "Contact Me" tab, and you will find instructions on how to contact my rockin' publicist.

See a picture of me with a pickle on my face?

Check the "About Me" page.

Get a sneak peek at quotes from Everneath?

Check the Everneath Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/Everneath

So, welcome y'all! Thanks for stopping by!

2. Ever since I got a box of ARCs in my mailbox, I've been ruined for the mailman. 

Pretty Mail

 He comes to my door, and I whip it open and tackle him, wrenching the bundle of envelopes out of his hands. 

Then I stand up and use my foot in his stomach to hold him down. I thumb through the stack, with a frantic look in my eye, and when I have determined the mail is not interesting, I scream, "THIS IS IT??!! When did the Postal System start hiring stupid people??!!"

3. It's a great day to be a criminal in America.

4. Happy Birthday America!

Sam (hubby, who is frugal) bought the $20 fireworks "Super-Pack" from Costco. He was very proud of himself. I wondered if 20 dollars could really buy anything worthwhile. 

I was wrong. 20 dollars can get you so many smoke bombs, you won't know what to do with them. Literally. You'll invite your extended family over for a "fireworks display" and they'll be sitting there, waiting to be entertained, and all you'll have is smoke bombs. 

We lit bomb after bomb, and forced the audience to enthusiastically shout out the color of the smoke. No one was allowed to complain, or say things like, "I drove all the way over her for this %&$#!" For the big finale, we lit two smoke bombs at once. 

It was amazing. A great dedication to our country.

5. Today we're going to Lagoon. 

No, no, not this Lagoon:

This Lagoon:

It's What Fun Is! If Fun is Throwing up! Which it is in our family!

So, what's on your mind today?

Thing #1 and Thing #1: the Jacob and Esau of Tomato Plants, and the Hairy Beast I met

Hey y'all. 

Before we get to the post, I'd like you to know EVERNEATH has a Facebook page! It's here: www.facebook.com/everneath

So, if you feel inclined, please stop on by and "like" the heck out of it. :)

And now, it's time for...

Thing #1 and Thing #1!

Thing #1

If tomato plants can ever be described as "crazy", this is the time.

Both of my tomato plants were planted at the same time, in similar pots, with similar soil, and equal water/sun exposure.

Yet look at them:

One of these plants is not like the other...

How does this happen?

Now, I could relate this to the publishing world (why does one story get published and another doesn't?) or the parenting world (why does one kid in the same gene pool and the same environment have issues and the other one doesn't?) but today, I'm thinking... they're just tomato plants.

Maybe there is no higher meaning.

Like any respectable ancient civilization, we took the weaker plant and sacrificed it to the gods by hurling it off a cliff, and yelling, "Only the strong survive! Viva la strong plants!"

Thing #1

This next one is indeed a THING. The other day, my cousins and I took our kids to the "This is the Place" Heritage Park.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the vernacular, "This is the Place" Heritage Park is so named because when Brigham Young arrived in the Salt Lake Valley with the pioneers, he said, "Let's make this a really long pit stop!"

The park is a mini-pioneer village, and it is filled with mini-pioneers. It is a place stuck in time, where traditional chores are valued...

Here you see two swarthy men performing the daily task of "Breaking Stick"

... Child Labor Laws are scarce...

"Mush, Tommy. MUSH!!"

... And the people are much larger than usual...

Here, we see giants riding an actual pioneer train.

We also caught a glimpse of one of the strangest animals I've ever seen:

It's kind of a mix of a cow and a horse. So, it's a "Corse", of course... or a "How". Either way, it's a hairy beast. 

What about y'all? Anyone doing anything fun for the holiday? Anyone know what this animal is? Anyone else worried that they've relaxed the restrictions on aerial fireworks, which basically means they've put surface-to-air missiles in the hands of thousands of 8-year-olds?

Have a great weekend!

The Snarky Question-Maker gives an Introduction to my Blog

Hey y'all. How goes it?

I thought since we have a few new visitors (Hi! new people!) today could be an introduction post. So I've awakened that sleeping giant, the great Question-Maker (who lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars) to interview me.

Question-Maker: yawn, stretch, crick. "Hey, every- whoa. A lotta new faces around here. What happened?"

me: "Well, dear Question-Maker-"

QM: "That's Mr. Question-Maker to you."

me: "But we've known each other for years! We should be on a first name basis. What do you call me?"

QM: "A nickname I only use on special occasions."

me: "What occasions?"

QM: "Right after you've left a room." snort

me: "..."

QM: "..."

me: "Okay, so we have some new faces I think because of the EVERNEATH cover reveal, and I think because of the ARC."

QM: "What's an ARC?"

me: "An Advanced Reader Copy of my book. I got them last week. Wanna see a pic?

The cover makes my hand look even uglier.

I love it so much."

QM: "You know the rule about loving your ARC?"

me: "No."

QM: "You can love your ARC, just don't love your ARC."

me: "I would never-"

QM: "That means no petting."

me: "Dang!"

QM: "So, for the new people around here (and I really don't know why they would want to spend time here)-"

me: "Stop with the asides!"

QM: "Sorry, that was supposed to be an internal aside. So, for the new people - and welcome, you smart people - tell us a little about your blog."

me: "Okay. I blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I blog about writing and books, but even more I blog about random stuff."

QM: "Like that time you got stuck in a bathroom on Venice Beach?" snicker snicker

me: "... and I blog about other things too."

QM: "Like that time you shouted 'belly boobs!' to an elevator full of strangers?"

me: "That was not my fault! ... It was the fault of the shirt I was wearing."

QM: "I think those are great examples about what you can expect on the blog."

me: "I also blog about this guy a lot:"

Rafa Nadal, celebrating right after he heard he would be featured on my blog.

"He's playing in the quarterfinals of Wimbledon today."

QM: "What's Wimbledon?"

me: "It's only like the most important tennis tournament in the world."

QM: "What's tennis?"

me: "Seriously, do you even read my blog?"

QM: "I thought you already knew the answer to that question."

me: "And... that's it for the Question Maker! Thank you for your help."

QM: "I'm not done yet-"

me: "Thanks so much for stopping by!"

QM: "But I still have more-"

me: "Have I described Rafa's hip dents to you lately?"

They are defined, and pointy.

QM: "You're right. Look at the time. See y'all next time!"

Okay, so that was the Question Maker! If you would like to run a question through the Question-Maker, and have me answer it, you can leave it in the comments.

And if you're new here, take a moment. Introduce yourself. We're very nice around here, and we only bite on special occasions. Like Tuesdays.

I'll even give you a question form you can use:
1. Name
2. A little bit about yourself
3. How would you describe Rafa's hip dents?

How my Blog Dressed to Match my Cover, and Some Other Covers I Love.

Hey y'all!

Do you notice anything different around here?

No, I haven't lost weight. But thank you.

It's my blog! After the big Cover Reveal last Friday, I received a lot of suggestions that I should dress to match my book:

Since there's no way I could rock that dress, or even squeeze into that dress, I decided to dress up my blog to match. What do you think?

Also, I have to give a big shout out to the world wide web for all of their support over the cover. And let me tell you, that cover took a lot of work. First, I had to find the girl. Then, I had to shop at JC Penny for the dress. Then - this was the hardest part - I had to search the world for some smoke/cloud/fog action...

Okay, I had nothing to do with the cover. Huge thanks for the cover team at HarperCollins. Did you know there are graphic design guys that specialize in smoke?

Anyway, since I've sort of been cover-obsessed this past week, I'd love to share with you some of my favorite covers of recent and upcoming books:

First up, IMAGINARY GIRLS by Nova Ren Suma:

I think Nova should totally dress to match.

It's so darn lovely. And mysterious.

Next up, and keeping with the water theme, THE UNBECOMING OF MARA DYER by Michelle Hodkin. 

Some guys are hot enough that you wouldn't mind being pulled under with them.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about underwater shots, but they are so awesome!

And, now, we have an upcoming book, INCARNATE by Jodi Meadows:

Um... you have something on your face... near your eyes...

I think this cover is so different than anything I've seen lately! I love the colors, and I have to know why her eyes have wings!!

And, in keeping with the "winged creatures on the face" theme, here is another one I love, LUMINOUS, by Dawn Metcalf:

It says something good about a person when butterflies love her.

Oh, man. So so pretty!

This is why I love hardcover books so much. They are works of art! So, what are some covers you love? 

Also, a reminder that if you'd like a chance to win an arc of EVERNEATH, stop by CranberryFries and Windy's blogs. All you have to do is assemble the right phrase to tweet. It's sort of like a treasure hunt, and who doesn't love a treasure hunt?