Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Free Book Friday Winners, and the Subtlety of Twilight Fans

Howdy, y'all.

And the FBF (Free Book Friday) winner is...


Email me your choice of books from the picture below. (Give me two options, in case I don't have the first choice. I'm too lazy to take a new picture.)
I really love this Free Book Friday stuff. I'm learning so much about all of you. As a heads up for this coming Friday... Watch out, you Lurkers!

My Blog Readers are Dedicated, but not so Creative

So, I loved hearing about everyone's imaginary friends after Monday's post. But I have to admit, the names of said friends left a little to be desired.

Some of the Names:

1. House

2. Computer
3. Potato
4. Bobby
5. Can't remember the name. Can't even remember if imaginary friend was a boy or girl. Which begs the question: If a nameless, sexless imaginary friend falls in a forest, is it still an imaginary friend?

Actual Blog Post

It's sorta been a non-crazy week. Usually I have a topic in mind when I blog. But not today. How about a numbered run-down of my week until something pops up?

1. Sam and I played tennis for about 45 minutes on Thursday, until Sam got tired out and wanted to quit. Just as I was trash talking him (C'mon, wuss! Are you a man, or a chihuahua?), channeling Serena (I'm gonna take this --------- ball and shove it down your ----------- throat) and pullin' out my Compton moves (imagine "Oh noh, you did-ehn") I collapsed to the ground, clutching my right shin, in severe pain.

Seriously, I couldn't breathe, it hurt so much. Sam had to basically carry me out of the gym.

Now for the worst part. The following day, my lower leg started to swell. And then BOTH legs started to swell.
You're probably thinking the same thing I was thinking: Blood Clot or Pulmonary Embolism. (Okay, I got those from WebMD).

I told my sister about it (her hubby's a doctor, who puts up with my neuroses) and she immediately left her dinner party to come over. Only problem was, she brought her entire dinner party over to my house, to check out my legs.

After her hubby poked and prodded my legs, and asked me a series of questions like "You still have arteries right? and You're not in your 60's, correct? and Do you recall leaving your kidneys anywhere?" he came up with a diagnosis: Cankles.

Yes, my sister's entire dinner party (for her birthday, I might add) filed into my living room to get a good look at the tree stumps heaven accidentally game me in place of real legs.

It was the best birthday present I could've given her. Next year, I plan to reveal the strange looking mole on my lower back. Tickets are required.

2. Kid C lost his second tooth. Swallowed it, to be more precise. The first tooth he lost, he physically lost the darn thing while he was hiking. I told him the tooth fairy would let it slide just once.

Now he's swallowed another tooth. He's scared the tooth fairy isn't going to be so forgiving this time. So we're waiting anxiously for it to appear again so he can get his quarter.
When do I get my "Mother of the Year" award?

3. I got these Twilight earrings for my birthday.

The inscription says, "Show off your Twilight Obsession with style and subtlety."

Yes, because Twilight fans are anything if not subtle.

I can just imagine wearing these beauties at a party, and I look across the room, and another woman is wearing her Twilight earrings, and we both give each other a subtle nod that says, "We are too elegant to lose our composure right now, but if Edward actually existed, we'd both leave these Shlums we're married to, just so we could cover our bodies in paper cuts. Enjoy the party, comrade."

I'm spending today at B&N for a marathon writing day. How are y'all's weeks going?


  1. The earrings are gorgeous! Subtle, yet bold... subtly bold.

    The full story of our tennis playing was me half carrying you through the sportsmall yelling at the top of my lungs: "Can someone get a medic? Can someone get a medic? This is not a fleshwound...this is exploded shin cancer!!!!!!"

    Also, when the dinner group came over to our house to examine you, I want to apologize to all of them for having them also examine my dangerous condition--ultra sexiness. That was a bit awkward.

  2. Sam - a much more appropriate response than the illustrious "choking" incident! I applaud you on taking fabulous care of your wife!

    Brodi - so did you feel like one of those patients in an operating auditorium like you see on House? Did your friend's hubby use some great medical terms you can now look up on WebMD?

    Sadly, I'm a work...working. Well, except right now as I'm goofing off to check in on your blog for my daily infuse of humor!

  3. Wait, you're a Twilight fan? Exactly how much of a Twilight fan are we talking here?

    Meanwhile, I hope this teaches you a valuable lesson about talking smack...what goes around comes around. Karma, baby.

  4. Sam- your really are dangerously sexy. I did notice how everyone was surrounding you, and not me that night.

    Una- If House had been there, I'm sure he would've diagnosed my death on the spot.

    Emily- My fandom rests somewhere between "Has read the entire book" and "Has moved to Forks to search for Edward."

  5. DARN! i was going to buy those exact earrings for you for your birthday!

    i will have to come up w/something better now! LOL!

    what's more fun than leaving a party to check out your great legs?

    just know you are LOVED! xoxo

  6. In my defense, your cankles needed a 2nd and 3rd and 4th opinions from the entire dinner group, which all confirmed what we knew to be true. You really do have cankles. Thank you for letting us poke and prod your bod. But you gotta admit, you do feel better now, right?

    I do have a little funny story to add to yours...I had to take Necie her lunch today and so I brought Asher in with me. Right when we were in the quiet classroom, Asher bends over and sticks his bum out and says, "Come on and spank my bum" over and over again. And then proceeds to make the tooting noise. Necie's entire class started laughing which only egged Asher on. All I can say is I'm so glad we're going on vacation!

  7. Hey, Brodi, aren't you and Stephenie Meyer like best friends? You're both Mormon and both writers. Ha! I had to.

    I swallowed a lot of things in my youth, but I don't think a tooth was every one of them. You could always wait for it to pass and put it under Kid C's pillow after. ;)

    In my defense, I may not have known the gender of my imaginary friend, but at least I stole some very creative copyrighted material to describe schlim.

  8. B&N? B&N, B&N....OH! You mean Starbucks?

  9. Hey that's me! Cool.

    Okay, I am seriously dense. Can't find your email address. Mine is schriftstellarin(@)

    I had "imaginary" friends from tv shows... you know, Data, Worf... yeah, nerd.
    My dd's imaginary friend is named Anjennica and lives on Saturn. Or used to. Apparently now she lives with us.

  10. LOL!!! Cankles? No way you could have cankles, my dear. I'm sure you were stung by a bee. I would get a 2nd opinion.

    Where do I get myself some subtle Twilight bling? I must have! Something that says, "yes, I am in love with a vampire with a freaky coif but I'm still a good person."

  11. Yes, yes, where do we find Twilight bling like those fabulous earings??

    My poor hubby is happy that all the fairies (because he says all paranormal character are fairies in his book) are married so they won't be after me.

  12. Dorien- I hate to tell you this, but there is nothing better than earrings that subtly proclaim my devotion to Edward. Still, I wish you luck in your quest.

    Erin- You're taking Asher to Spain with you, right? RIGHT?? Because if he asks me to, I absolutely will spank his bum. lol!

    Jenni- Steph's the one who gave me the earrings. After all, we're both Mormons, we're both... nevermind. I lied.

    Heather- Ha ha!

    Britt- brosam (at) gmail (dot) com. Sorry! I'll email you pronto.

    Cam- ask Ben. He totally knows I have cankles. Although maybe he's too classy to admit it... Nah. :)

    Tamara- Thanks for reading!

    Una- I'll have to research where my mom got them. We could all have matching pairs, showing we are all blog buddies. Blog Buddies? That sounds really lame. Sorry.

  13. Yah for Britt!

    Hey in my defense it was my daughters imaginary last name of Chip that prompted a few of those names I mean c'mon computer chip, potato chip. Classic right there baby.

    My daughter lost her 4th tooth last night. She lost her 3rd on Monday. They were her top two front. Just in time for picture day today. Lovely. I'm interested to see how it turns out. We thought she might have swallowed it too. when she went to bed it was CRAZY loose and when she woke up it was gone. Tonight before bed though she found it. Phew. I didnt want to have to tell her she might have ingested the thing.

  14. Debbie- I am such a dork. Totally didn't get the whole "last name chip" thing! Seriously, how dense can I get? Fish'n? Derh.

    You're right. Those are much more creative when you put it with chip.

  15. Haha Brodi, from your last comment I honestly thought you did get it. It's ok I dont think I presented it well enough the first time then. :)

  16. Our writing day was fun. I dodn't notice your cankels, though. You'll have to point them out to me and then we can invite the entire staff of B&N to check them out too. And then we'll go get more mangoes and sticky rice. I'm craving it right now.

    Loved Sam's comment about the ultra-sexiness. He does seem to like to flaunt that when people come over. I was going to say something about it last time I was at your house, but, you know . . .