Sunday, October 11, 2009

Kid C Makes his Straightest Line Yet... and Does anyone know how to quit a Good 'N Plenty Habit?

Happy Monday. Anyone do anything fun over the weekend?

1. A Couple Contests

F.O.B. Cranberry Fries is hosting a
Free Business Cards Giveaway. To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment.

Doug Cootey is instigating his own Free Book Fridays on his blog. Again, to enter, comment.

2. Sam brought out the Happenings Book on Friday, so I knew we were in for a treat, and I could've bet my left pinky toe the cuisine would be along the lines of Indian and Pakistani. (When Sam splurges, as he does on Happenings Book Fridays, it's always about the curry.)

We ordered from Himalayan Kitchen downtown, and we were a bit early, so Sam asked if we could stop by that Smith's on 500 South, 500 East which, for all of you non Salt-Lakers, means a very interesting crowd.

I didn't want to stop, because I'm the sort of person where if I've walked out of my house, and just locked the door, and I'm going to lunch, and I realize I left my purse inside, I won't bother to unlock the door again and walk inside to get the purse.

Yes, I'm that lazy, and I'm that impatient.

So I had no desire to go shopping. But Sam lured me in by saying we were out of Good 'N Plenty, and he wanted to restock. (I'm having a real problem with Good 'N Plenty lately. It's black licorice, covered in a candy shell, and it's been around since probably the 30's, and it's an acquired taste, but once you do acquire it, it's like crack. I have to have Good 'N Plenty. I don't even like it anymore. But I have to gnaw on the outer candy shell, until there's just the black licorice left, then I bite it lengthwise, and continue the process until it's gone.)

Seriously, does someone know of some sort of chemical in black licorice that turns me into a skanky-lookin' crack chick? Maybe it's more like tobacco, because I stick a bunch in my cheek, and chaw on it during church, so I don't have to constantly bring a new one up to my lips. Cuz that would be embarrassing. The inside of my cheek actually looks like a pizza burn.

Where was I? Happenings Book, Himalayan Kitchen, white-trash Smith's, skanky-lookin crack chick... oh yeah.

So, I'm waiting in the car with Kid C and Kid B, looking around at all the lonely people, judging, I must admit.

When suddenly, Kid B screams to be let out of the car. I finally let him out into the parking lot, and he starts lowering his pants and undoing his diaper. Yes, it was that kind of diaper.

Those of you who know me know that if Sam is in a 2 mile radius of a diaper, I defer to him to change it. (He is after all the man of the house, and I would hate to take away any duties.)

So I'm all: "No no. put it back on. let's run inside and find Sam."

We run inside, with Kid B's bum coverage leaving a little to be desired. We call to Sam. Meanwhile, Kid C clamps a hand over his crotch, saying, "I have to go pee, now!"

We find Sam, pay for the stuff, and all make it back to the car, where Sam proceeds to take care of Kid B's diaper right next to the car. Kid C disappears for a minute.

Finally, we're ready to go.

Me: "Kid C, do you still have to potty?"

Kid C: "Nope."

We pull out, and I see this.

Yep, that's just about Kid C pee-stream height.

me (pointing to the wall): "Kid C, did you do that?"

Kid C: "I tried to make a straight line, Brodi. Really I tried."

Good 'N Plenty Crack chick, running through the Smith's with one kid whose diaper is half-on, half-off, the other kid yelling about going pee, changing a diaper in the asphalt of the parking lot, with other kid peeing on the wall, and then all of us taking off under the exhaust cloud of shame.

It's a good thing we didn't stay long in the white trash Smith's, considering we were apparently the only white trash there.

Not only that, Sam forgot the Good 'N Plenty. Anyone out there have a source?

Oh well. It might be time to kick the habit.

Anyone out there have a pee-on-the-wall kind of day ever? Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to.


  1. At least it looks like he was probably hidden by the car. One time we went to a Bees game (baseball) and were in line for tickets, and our toddler did the dance that meant he couldn't wait. We asked where the restrooms were. Inside. Of course. We didn't have time to buy tickets and get inside. The lines were long. There were lots of people. And I helped my son pee on the bushes while spectators literally pointed and laughed.

  2. I heard early straight line wall peeing is a sign of brilliance! Jake would be proud because he feels when you gotta go you gotta go. That straight line is pure character. Nice work Lil' C.

  3. Nikki- Glad I'm not the only one.

    Kristen- It's totally a sign of brilliance. We're planning on sending the pic to Harvard when we apply for early entrance.

  4. All of Brodi's readers--do not worry, I have solved the Good 'n Plenty problem. I just bought a 5 pound bag of those crappy little candies. Yes, a 5-pound bag. Oh, and that bag will be gone by the end of the week.

    Hey, I will use the Happenings Book whenever I have a desire for Indian/Pakistani food...which is probably too often.

    I am very proud of Kid C and his aiming ability. So proud that I have a tear in my eye right now.

  5. holy freaking wow!

    as for the good n plenty's once you go black you never go back.

    that probably explains the addiction.

  6. My hubby always tells me to bring my purse when we go out together. Mostly so I'll have my keys. I hate carrying around my purse if I'm with him and he's got his wallet. What the heck.

    Good think the snow will be here soon. So much canvas for your kid to practice on!

  7. I love black licorice. Have you ever tried the black licorice caramels at The Store? They will help you get over the Good n Plenty fix in no time. You'll then have to get over the addiction to black licorice caramels though. Good luck.

    I love when my boys have a peeing contest and their pee-stream shoots up as high as their heads and they just sit back and laugh hysterically. Boys and their toys...

  8. Sam- watch out. That tear in your eye may not be a tear, considering Kid C's aim.

    Shellie- so true. So so true.

    Debbie- I know. My front yard will be so beautiful.

    Erin- That's like that movie where the lead character takes up smoking so she can get over the patch. :)

  9. Honestly Brodi--You do not, I repeat you DO NOT take pictures of the evidence when your family does something illegal!

  10. Eden- Wait a sec. Is peeing on a wall illegal? I'm gonna have to brush up on my knowledge of the legal system...

  11. Ha! Kid C is awesome! Thanks for making my day day with that picture.

    I love Good 'N Plenty also. I just love licorice period, especially the good stuff from Down Under. But, the candy shell on Good 'N Plenty is awesome. One of my favorite things is to eat the lentil seeds after dining at The Bombay House. Mmmmm. (I'm not helping you with breaking your habit, am I?)

  12. You can't workout and eat candy Brodi! That is the rule!!!!!!!!!

  13. Jenni- I do hear the international black licorice market is hot right now.

    Amy- when did that become a rule?

  14. That is hysterical! What an artist you're raising. How ever do you train him, being a girl and all?

    Once I looked out my front window to see the neighbor's kid pull his pants down, lean back and hit the roof with his stream. I don't know if I've ever laughed so hard.

    Not a huge black licorice fan, but I do like Good 'N Plenty. I am addicted to Sour Patch Kids myself. Love the tart and sweet together, plus I love to see my kids' puckered faces after they try one.

  15. Kimberly- no! I didn't get it. Are you sending it to

    brosam (at) gmail (dot) com

    send it again, and I'll check my spam folder.

  16. Wait! I got it. It was in my spam folder. Sorry, I'm a dork!

  17. Actually, I think the only way to kick a good n plenty habit is to replace it with Mike n Ike. Nothing wrong with that.

  18. Mmmmmmmm curryyyyyyy....

    I think it may be time to cook up another batch of curried squash..... Yuuuuuuummmmmmyyyyyy....

    I could totally live on curry.

    Black licorice on the other hand, blech.

  19. Melissa- Mike 'N Ikes are always good. Do you remember Jolly Joes? The purple ones? I used to have them for lunch every day...

    Britt- I challenge you to eat Good 'N Plenty every day for a week. You'll think differently.

    p.s. Curry squash? That sounds delish.

  20. No thanks. They kinda make me gag.

    Off to check the butternut that's in the fridge... I may cry if it's gone bad...

  21. Good 'N Plenty? When did you acquire this love? I have to say I like black licorice about as much as you like coconut. The flavor though. Not the texture.

    Sam - keep track of that 5 lb bag. We're all curious as to how fast Brodi can down it.

    And Kid C - what a rogue! I'm glad to hear you have pee-on-the-wall days. We should commiserate more often.