Monday, January 5, 2009


Book Status: Must cut. Must fight strange compulsion to add and add.

In order to cut, I ask for your help. Please send along a list of words you could live without, and then I'll cut them from my book. The problem is, my book currently feels like it's exactly 5,000 words long, and I'm supposed to cut 5,000 words. I'll cut a 'the' from the manuscript, and then I'll re-read it and the entire book falls apart in its absence.

I need to not be so attached. So I keep chanting to myself: Kill those darlings! Kill them all! Death to words!

In all seriousness, Sensei Ted has once again proven his worth. His changes really have made it a better book. Curses!

Newt Status: Divorce proceedings have begun. I got me a shiny new Mac Book. I'm trading Newt in for a newer model. Not in the 'younger hotter wife' sense, but literally a newer model.

My new Mac Book is beautiful, and red. But it currently falls in the same category as my remodeled kitchen: It's too pretty to mess it up by cooking something in it. So for now, I'm typing this on trusty old Newt, and the Mac Book has been bronzed and is hanging above my fireplace.

Geek status: Enormous. Bigger than ever, and here's why. I've been playing this online game called Travian. I've built my own little kingdom, and I'm not going to tell you the name of it, for fear of being targeted, but I will say it's something along the lines of Brodilvania, or Ashtontonia, or even geekier. Here is an example of what a village looks like.
And let me tell you, it takes, like forever, to build up your resources and your village. Seriously, I've had to hire an extra nanny just to give me the freedom to do this.

Anyway, over the weekend, another village (whose leader calls himself Archie the Great!!) attacked me over and over, and raided my kingdom, and massacred my troops. And my little dog too.

It was so rude. And I cried. Out loud. My only excuse is that my revisions have messed up the emotional cortex of my brain.

So here is my second plea... If any of you are on Travian, or know of someone who is, could you pull some strings and attack Archie the Great!! for me? (When you are searching for his village, include the two exclamation points). He's a big fat meanie, and he needs to be destroyed.

That being said, I am fairly certain none of you even know what I'm talking about, because my readers have a higher coolness quotient than I do, but just in case there is a fellow geek out there, who can feel my pain, I am swallowing my pride (as I do nearly every post) and asking for help.

My sis-in-law Eden says with this new little obsession of mine, I have surpassed even trekkies in geekness. To which I reply: I may play Travian on my computer, but I have never dressed up as a "land-owner" or an invading "conquerer", I have never donned any sort of alien pointy ears, and I have never adopted any sort of catchphrases like "Live Long and Prosper" or "Darn you Kahn, Darn you straight to Heck!"

To the members of my Travian alliance (the totally cool "Wolf-Divine Light" pack), I leave you with this message: "Loyalty to the alliance, now and always!"

What? You're telling me that's a catch-phrase? Crap. Well, one for three ain't bad.


  1. My wife is officially a geek.

    I am also giving you one week to use the Mac or I will sell it. We are also not going to bronze the Mac and put it over our fireplace...we have no room now because of my awesome Championship trophy.

  2. JEALOUS! of the new Mac! and if my son Josh EVER hears about that online place, not only will he attack Archie, but prob. DESTROY anyone else that gets in your way Brodi! (who knew, they had places like that?)

  3. For someone who says she is not a trekkie, you sure know a lot about it! You know more quotes than I do. For the record I have never dressed up in Trekker (the new and cooler name for trekkies)clothes! Even though I wrote this at work it was during my break!

  4. I will freaking join Travian build up my army and go destroy Archie! I have to think of a cool village name though.

  5. Eden-
    did you really just correct me on the "cool" way to refer to trekkies? Is there such a thing? I rest my case.

    How about Shellville? Shelleronia? The United Shells of Shellandia?
    So many options!

  6. nice brodi i cant believ your giving up newt! but that mac sounds cool

  7. So I'm not all that big the word "that." In fact, when I was ordered to cut words, I went through and axed almost all the "that"s from my book--but then Ted went back and added half of them back in. So perhaps it wasn't the best strategy after all . . .

  8. I've never really liked the word mucus. I don't remember you useing it but if its in there I would be alright if you cut it out.

  9. Thanks, Dan. I will cut out all instances of "mucus".

    In a similar vein, I will also cut the word "moist".