Friday, September 10, 2010

Kid C Discovers there is a "One Size Fits All" Sure Way to Publication

Yay for Friday! And Yay for the end of the legendary summer "lull" in publishing.

Thanks for all y'all's questions the other day. I've compiled an incredible list of stellar questions, the answers to which might one day save the world. They're that good.

So, let's start with the first question, asked by F.O.B. (friend of the blog) Jenni Elyse.

Q: What is the most number of times you've said boobies or something to do with boobies in one day?

Great question, Jenni. Many of you know how often I, and my fellow critique group cohorts, find the word "boobies" popping up in conversation. So much so that we've instituted a rule that every time someone says the word, that person owes a quarter to the booby jar. 

Although I have never actually documented how many times it's been said in one day, I will say that we have enough money in the booby jar to buy a cow for a village in sub-saharan Africa. Boobies for a good cause! (And now I owe 3 quarters to the booby jar. Make that 4.)
Now if we could just earn enough to cover the shipping.

On to the blog:
Kid C came home from school the other day with the answer to getting your fairytale published. Contrary to popular belief, there is an easy road to publication, and I'm about to share it with you. Don't tell anyone, K?
So, once you've finished your fairytale, and you've made sure the "setting, characters, and events are imaginary", and you've checked to see that your "words help the reader visualize what is happening", and you've "spelled your name right", you can move on to the easiest part of the process: 

The Preparation for Publication. (It's easy because it's only three steps.)

Step 1: Give your fairy tale a title. Remember to underline your title.


Step 2: Write or type a neat copy.

Check check!! (I went the extra mile and typed it in a Word document)

Step 3: Include a drawing of an important character or event from your fairy tale. 

As Michael Bourret can attest, in addition to the boring old query, I also sent him a hand drawn depiction of my book.
If he was on the fence at first, I'm pretty sure my illustration sealed the deal.

What's everyone doing this weekend? Do you like my art work? And ask me more questions anytime!


  1. I want a piece of that swirly vortex action.

  2. Oh, man, Heather. I hate to besmirch a real artist like you by inflicting my drawings on you! Did your eyes burn?

    And when does your book come out???

  3. What is amazing is that Kid C already has an agent and 2 editors want his work. All by following that little checklist.

    That drawing shows just how talented you are when you put your mind to it.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Those steps make publishing sound like the easiest job in the world! Why isn't everyone doing it?

    I love your drawing. For some reason, it went into a fit of laughter upon viewing it.

  6. Wow! Kid C did all that? I am impressed. And your artwork is great! It will really draw readers into your book.

  7. Great! Now I know just how to make my fairytale retelling marketable. Too bad I can't draw though. I did make a cartoon avatar of my MC--do you think that's good enough?

  8. Sam- I'm glad you think so, because I'm giving up writing and focusing on my art career.

    Jenny- Apparently anything is easy when you turn the task into a checklist.

    Lulabell- Kid C worked very hard. I just hope the teacher doesn't realize his "fairy-tale" is actually a recap of Sonic and the Secret Rings on the Wii.

    Jenilyn- That's more than enough! Share it with us. Give us the link!

  9. Who needs to ship cows when you can just ask those magic creatures to fly over there.

    Every night my daughter comes home with homework I always think to myself, man I'm so glad I did my time (in school) and now I'm done. Though 2nd grade homework really has been fun so far for both of us.

    This weekend I'm finally staying in town. I had a summer full of go go go and I'm excited to get to be home the entire weekend.

  10. Debbie- Yay for weekends at home! But does that mean you're going to miss author Kiersten White appearing at the King's English tomorrow at 11 am? To talk about her book Paranormalcy that just hit the NYT bestseller's list?

    Okay, I guess I like to throw a wrench into people's weekends when I can. You're probably not even tempted.

  11. weekend plans?

    watching soccer games. getting a son ready for the big homecoming dance. trying to stay awake til 2 AM when he gets home.

    and who knew you could draw? wow--hidden talents woman!

  12. Dorien- Oh man. I am dreading the time when my boys are old enough to date. Good luck with that!

  13. What exactly is happening to your main character, because I am starting to think your book is on me and my lousy day....

    Another question for the queue, do you ever try to cram way too much into one day?

    I'm heading to my one vacation a year. Off to go fishing in June Lake for a week. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and week!

  14. I have a booby joke for you next time I see you. It's not R rated -- I'm just not very good enough with jokes to actually write it down.

  15. Una- Actually, you're right. I based my book on you and your lousy day. Enjoy the fishing!

    Anon- I'm always looking for a good booby joke! Hopefully we'll run into each other soon, so I don't have to wait.

  16. I think you should also offer to do illustrations throughout your books. I can't imagine Michael or an editor not thinking that is a great idea.

  17. Are you kidding? That picture is great! (I think it tells a great story in just a few lines. That's hard to do.) Also the hair sticking up makes me giggle.

    "Entwined" comes out March 29th of next year, I'm thinking of having a bonfire or sumfin.

  18. Heather- Count me in for the bonfire! I'm so excited for you.