Friday, April 15, 2011

Three things, A Rant, And the Return of the Great Author Smackdown

Word Progress: 0/40,000*

*This will make sense once you read the blog post.

Hey y'all. Three things on this sunny Friday Morning:

1. A rant.

This morning, I had a doctor's appointment scheduled. I've been waiting six months for this appointment. 

The doctor's office called me several times during the week, warning me not to be late. They are not forgiving of new patients who are late.

About a half hour before the appointment, I received a phone call, telling me the doctor had to cancel because she was off delivering a baby.

That's all fine. So I call back to reschedule, and the office person says the soonest she can fit me in again would be in six weeks. 

What the WHAT? Six weeks? They cancel on me 30 minutes before the appointment, after warning me all week about the dire consequences if I was late, and the soonest they can reschedule is in six weeks?

Does anyone else think that's crazy? 

The scheduler asked me if the end of May was good for me. Because I am not afraid of confrontation, I replied with a scathing "Um, yeah. That should work fine."

Why am I so scared of schedulers? Because my uncle was killed by a scheduler.

Kidding. I suck.

2. Lady of Leisure

Kid C (8 years old) said to me the other day: "Brodi, I think you are the most relaxed person in our family."

me: "What do you mean?"

him: "You don't go to work. You don't go to school." Thoughtful pause. "There must be something you can do..."
3. An Author Smackdown: The Chimichanga Challenge Returns

40,000 words in 21 days. 

Many of you will remember that Everneath came about because of a contest I had with author Bree Despain: The Chimichanga Challenge. It was a race to finish our novels.  (Mine became Everneath, hers was the sequel to The Dark Divine). 

Side note: I can't really remember why we called it the Chimichanga Challenge, but I think it was because we were talking about it in the parking lot of Costco when a strange man tried to sell us tamales out of a zip-lock bag he was carrying.Tamales... Chimichangas.... there you go.

To motivate each other for our current WIPs (Works-in-Progress), we are having another race. Here's the rundown.

Team names remain the same:
Brodi.... Team Tamale
Bree......Team Gluten-Intolerant

Object of the Race:
To reach 40,000 words (in addition to the ones already written) by May 6, 2011. 21 days from now.

The Rules:

a. Never talk about Fight Club.
b. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
c. Never bury the lead.

The Point:
Brodi finishes EVERNEATH 2
Bree finishes DARK DIVINE 3

We will blog about our progress, and we will trash talk each other. (Can you believe she can't handle dairy products? Wuss.)

And, dear blog readers, you can divide yourselves into teams as well. Join one of our teams, or form your own team and start writing! And contrary to many religious zealots, you can bat for both teams if you want.
Here's the best part: If we all reach 40,000 words in 21 days, we all win! Yay! Winners can treat themselves to whatever they want. Everyone can win!

But I will say: Last time, I totally won. 

So, what do you think? Do you want to form your own team? Do you want to join one of ours? Who do you like better, me or Bree? What do you like better? Tamales or Gluten Free Rice Bread?

Do you think the doctor totally should've squeezed me in before six weeks?


  1. They totally should have been able to schedule you sooner than that! Call them back!

    I support both teams because I like both of you. While I am not gluten-intolerant, I also am not actually fond of spicy things like most tamales, so I will unofficially spearhead the non-committal Team Barbecue. Because you both like that.

  2. I work in an office with an obgyn & if he gets called away for a delivery, the pts get the option to wait, reschedule or see a PA or NP. That was so whack that they didn't give you options. Also, let me tell you, I do almost all the scheduling at our office & sometimes there really is NO way to fit someone in, but MOST times, it will be a tight shuffle, but it's possible, especially in a situation like yours. That makes me peeved for you.

    On a note about the teams, there is no way I'm choosing between the two of you haha! I think it's funny that Bree's name can be shortened to Team GI. Team Tamale is a win though too. Best to both of you on your challenge. I hope, since everyone will win, you both get awesome prizes aside from having a finished WIP.

    P.S. I thought Bree was getting a kitten if she finished DD#3? Is Kitten Divine a no go now?


  3. I say you send the scheduler a bill for canceling with less than 24 hour notice. Or ask to get on the cancellation list.
    Chimichanga challenge: I'll not take sides though wouldn't want to cause conflict outside of your novels. I'm still on my outline due to slow edits from first quarter so I'm going to lose with style, but you're on. New team: Team Immortals. Our Slogan: If you're not immortal, you're probably going to die.

  4. You didn't put up the option for me, Team Pop Tart and Tab...if I can eat and drink a combination of 10,000 of pop tarts and Tab colas by that date, then I win. Wish me luck!

  5. I'm definitely Team Switzerland because I want both books to be finished! :) Good luck you two.

    Also, you should've told the scheduler that you'd call her back and then I'd call her for you and give her what's what!

  6. "I say you send the scheduler a bill for canceling with less than 24 hour notice."


  7. love it! i am a scheduler wuss too. I called the other day, "can I get my prenatal vitamins refilled? I'm still nursing." Her: "well, our system says you're due to be seen. I can renew them for your for 3 months, and then you can get the prescription again at your appointment." Me: "I spoke at length with Dr. Smith and he told me I would not need to be seen again until September 2012." Her: "Well the system says you're due for an appointment." Me:"..." Her:" I can refill for 3 months IF YOU SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT." Me:(your system is whack! FIX THE SYSTEM! "ok fine whatever."

    I planned to call and cancel the appointment soon, but just the other day I got a letter in the mail: "Your appointment has been cancelled due to unforseen circumstances..."

  8. Schedulers can smell fear. Don't let her intimidate you like that. Even ladies of leisure such as yourself deserve to be treated with respect and timely medical care.

    What are you being seen for? If it's a condition you have that needs to be checked (as opposed to a routine physical or some such), you might want to call back, describe your condition, the time you've already been made to wait, and ask if it would be best for you to seek out alternative medical care, as it appears that their office is awfully full. Heck, try that even with a routine checkup. Be nice, be accommodating, but don't let them think they're the only act in town and that you don't have choices. If the scheduler likes you (and is a bit scared of losing you), you might at least get a phone call if there's a cancellation.

    I'd love to join your challenge, but I'm editing--if I add another 40,000 words to my WIP, it will be completely unpublishable. I'm rooting for you both, though. Impossible to choose.

  9. I want to play! I want to play! Unfortunately I can't. My edits should arrive any day now (that is, I heard a rumor) so I can't come out and play. =)

  10. First off, I can't believe none of you have enough gumption to choose sides! Not even my own hubby. It's understandable, though.

    Robbie- I love a good barbecue. Go Team BBQ! If you win, we'll all treat ourselves to a night at Dave's BBQ. I'm voting for you.

    Ashlie- You're a scheduler? So, couldn't you just call my doctor's office and talk to the person "Scheduler to scheduler" otherwise known as Mano a mano? You could say you are a member of the Gambino Schedulers, and you could make her life a living hell.

    Just an idea. :)

    LC- excellent idea. I will send them a bill immediately in the amount of $25 cancellation fee and $1,000,000 in emotional turmoil.

    Sam- I thought you already did that last night.

    Jenni- I totally did that! Only I had Sam talk. I'm hoping she assumed I was so angry that my voice dropped a couple of octaves.

    Alysa- I hate it when they threaten to take away your pills unless you pay them a copay! (Otherwise known as... I can't keep prescribing meds when I haven't seen you in five years.)

    I always break down and sob, "Please don't take the little pink ones away. Please, sir!"

    Robin- It was a follow-up to a bad test. So, yeah, it's not routine! Sam called back and told them what was what. (Which involved pointing out that the knee-bone is connected to the thigh bone).

    After he explained what was what, he asked them to reconsider. And we're still going to another doctor.

  11. Shari- Edits are infinitely more important than our challenge. Edit the crap out of those words!

  12. This sounds exciting! Go Team Tamale! But doesn't gluten-intolerant mean that she can't tolerate wheat products? I mean, if you're gonna trash talk, you should at least get your facts right! :P Just kidding,good luck to both of you!

  13. Lulabell- that's the wonderful thing about Bree: She can't tolerate wheat or dairy! :)

  14. That doctor totally should have gotten you in. That is SO NOT FAIR! Talk about a double standard, huh? You have to do your part, but they don't have to do theirs. Nice...

    I REALLY WANT TO JOIN YOUR CHALLENGE! I already told you that I am querying my latest novel... Well, I am writing a new one that I am really excited about. It is a great distraction while I am waiting. Right now I'm 10,000 words into it. So tacking on another 40,000 would get the bulk of it written. (I am thinking it will end up between 65,000 and 75,000 words long). I have to pick a team? *yikes*

  15. You so deserve more respect, Brodi. Sheesh! In both writing and scheduling.

    In my favorite scene from the movie "Bright Star," the poet John Keats's friend tells somebody: if we look like we're sleeping, or sitting around staring into space, don't disturb us, WE'RE WORKING!

    Good luck to both you and Bree! I won't join you because I'm still cutting words in my book, definitely don't want to add any.

  16. Awesome. I really want to get in on this. Hmm... maybe I'll be team.... wonton? That sounds good. Go Team Wonton!

  17. Kristin- Yay! Glad to have you on board!

    Elena- YOu could always cut 40,000 words. Would that work? :)

    Jenn- Team Wonton on the scoreboard! I'm always happy to add the culinary delicacies of Asia. :)

  18. I would love to join if I were writing a book right now instead of revising. I wrote it in about 30 days though, so can I get retroactive joinage and credit??

    Also, that is totally lame about that doctor. My doc's office doesn't call you if he delivered a baby, you just have a longer wait, but he still sees you. Unless something catastrophic happens, and then they give you the option to wait or reschedule. I'm sorry you had a bad test, I hope everything is okay. You and your family have been hit hard enough as it is!

  19. Lots of questions there that I don't have answers for. BUT! I do know you're hilarious - that has to count for something :)

  20. Sara- You win! Retroactively. And a retroactive win is worth retroactive credit bucks, redeemable only at the Retroactive Festival Celebrating Months that end in R's.

    Thanks for the commiseration over the doctor's waits. Stupid wait times.

    Emily- That totally counts for something... a Gold Star!

  21. Totally call them back. It was their bad, not yours.

    Good luck with your challenge!

  22. Donna- Hubby called them back and brought down the hammer. I think they're now working to fit me in. He's very scary.

  23. Kent- I didn't know you enjoyed losing. :)

    Amanda- Of course! Matt Damon is always a safe bet, no matter the contest.