Friday, February 20, 2009

AND THIS IS WHY NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND SHOULD TAG ME...

Revision Status: I clicked "send" just last night. Sam thinks I should be relieved now. I told him he obviously doesn't know me very well.

Okay, so Ronda tagged me, with the 25 things about me thingee-ma-jig. But I really don't think I'll get to 25. So here goes:

Okay, I have been sitting at my computer for, like, 20 minutes. So far, I haven't come up with one.

Yep, another five minutes has gone by. Nothing. In fact, I think I bruised my brain trying to do this. I'm not kidding. Normally I can blog pretty fast, but right now, there's nothing.

Seriously, I can do this. I can do this. You can do this, Brodi. Do it. Do it!

AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH-
1. Ummm... I'm a girl.

2. I'm a dork (as pointed out by number one, and several of my blog commenters on a daily basis. Yes, Cam, I'm talking to you... You too, Dorien. And Shell. Don't get me started on Erin.)

3. Crap. Another brain cramp. Okay, let me go brush my teeth. I think better with clean teeth. Hey- that's a fact about me, right? Number three, done! Now, really, I have to go brush my teeth. Be right back.

4. Okay, I feel better now. My computer screen is no longer melting because of my breath. Where were we? Number four. Right.

5. Sometimes I kick Sam while he's sleeping, and I tell him to stop snoring. Only, he's not really snoring. He's just breathing. The truth is, I couldn't sleep. And I was bored. And I needed someone to blame.

6. Wooo Hoo! Only 845 more to go!

7. I pee, like, 15 times before I go to bed. It's mental. It's all in my head. (That was redundant, huh.) I know it's mental because I went to my doctor, and told her I must have bladder cancer. But when she found out I didn't work in a tire factory, (I guess those are hotbeds for bladder cancer) she said the chances were minimal.

She was right. It was all in my head.

8. Yay! Number 7 reminded me I'm a hypochondriac! That one's easy! Booo Yah! Count it!

9. Really, number 8 should count for two, because it's such a big part of my life.

10. How about we talk crazy quirks? Ummmm... I won't eat leftovers. In fact, I have a very paranoid relationship with food in my fridge. I come from a household where my mother saved leftover scrambled eggs. Yes, you heard me right. Leftover scrambled eggs. As in, to be reheated.

So, yeah, I don't like the fridge. And the fridge has been eyeing me lately as well. I think the feeling is mutual.

11. I talk to signs. Any written set of instructions. And I'm kind of sassy about it. Like when I'm in the shower, and I look at the directions on the shampoo bottle: "Lather, rinse. Repeat if necessary."

I'm all, "Duh. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. I only do this every day. But tell me, what in the world do I do after I rinse?" Yes, I say it out loud.

Then I read the next line: "Follow with Redkin Conditioner."

I'm like, "Oh, well isn't my bottle of shampoo a freakin' genius... Stop staring at me."

12.

12.

12.

You know what? 11's good, right. It's almost, very nearly, halfway there. And since I tend to do everything half-butted anyway, it's perfect.

This was the longest time I've ever spent on a blog post.

So now, I tag, everybody. You're it.

20 comments:

  1. I think we can all say that we know Brodi much better. I learned things in that post that I didn't know about you. Very informative.

    Also, you were being a little dishonest about just 'kicking' me while I sleep. What about all of the kidney punches? It took me about the first 6 years of our marriage to figure out why I had all of those bruises on my back.

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  2. Sheesh, Sam. I thought I married a man with strong kidneys...

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  3. Holy shiz! You are funny. You have to understand that "Dork" is a term of endearment to a Ballou!! I call myself 10x worse things 100 times a day - and I LOVE myself...LOL!

    I hate leftovers and my fridge too. And yes, it's an aversion I developed as a child from the things that were placed in front of me. Ben hates it. It makes me high maintenance. Whatever.

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  4. is #7 really true? LOL...and FOR REAL on the reheating of scrambled eggs??? it seriously makes me want to vomit....(i barely like eggs the first go round anyway)

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  5. Cam- I love you too.

    Dorien- Sadly, true on both accounts.

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  6. Cam- I love you too.

    Dorien- Sadly, true on both accounts.

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  7. I love myself so much, I publish my own comments twice.

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  8. My mom once made my friend who was over for a sleepover scrambled eggs and ramen noodles. and when we didn't eat it she served it for lunch. It makes me gag thinking about it turning round and round in the microwave getting "reheated"

    *SHUDDER*

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  9. Shel- I feel your pain. Sorry to dredge up bad memories!

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  10. Bro, you forgot one very important thing about you...the way you pour your diet coke. It's insane how you can hear and smell the correct way a diet coke should be poured into a cup full of ice. You are a dork!

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  11. Erin- Thanks for bringing up that little gem about my mania.

    Everyone- here I thought the weirdest part of the list would be number 11, where I talk to shampoo bottles. But nobody's even mentioned that...

    So, did all of you just read over that, and think to yourselves, "That doesn't sound so strange...Why did she even mention it?"

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  12. I have to admit I'm laughing more over the comments about the comments today. I think it's just fine that you talk to shampoo bottles, as long as they're not talking back. I love reading your blog. Can't wait to exchange again.

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  13. Anne-
    So far, the only objects that actually talk back are the walls.

    Good to see you in the comments! I emailed you today... Thinking about you on your trip!

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  14. Hey, I'm, uh, glad? you took the tag. JK. It was fun. By the way, I really don't mind leftover scrambled eggs. They make good scrambled egg sandwiches. Oh, and I think you must have something in common with my husband because I think he does the same thing to me at night. He can't sleep, so . . . bump. "I'm sorry." Yeah, right.

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  15. I can totally relate to #7. It really gets quite annoying. My husband keeps a running tally each night.

    Weird the things we have in common.

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  16. I can totally relate to #7. It really gets quite annoying. My husband keeps a running tally each night.

    Weird the things we have in common.

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  17. Ronda-
    So, I guess you'll never tag me again? :)

    Bree- Okay, our doppleganger status just got a little bit creepy...

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  18. You are SOOO funny, who would have known all of those random quirky traits?

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  19. I've got some things to add! Brodi's the only one I know who talks to people in elevators and then publicly high 5's herself! Those two traits ROCK! -Although she blogged about that so it isn't something we didn't already know.

    She's also a superb sister-in-law who is shockingly funny! --Also obvious

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  20. Heather-
    Good to see you! And, unfortunately, Sam can attest to every single one of these traits. Poor guy.

    Eden-
    Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in that elevator!

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