Friday, March 12, 2010

Hard and Fast Evidence I'm Losing my Mind... oh wait... pretty flowers.

TGIF, because I'm going out of my MF mind.

My good friend Heather sent me a facebook message the other day:

"I left my Sig Sauer hat at your house."

She said it like she expected me to know what she was talking about, which I didn't. Was it a hat? Or a saying? Or code for something? So I googled Sig Sauer hat and two things popped up. 


and This:

My first thought was, ha ha, it's a gun joke, and Heather knows how much I hate guns. But then I thought it's not really that funny, and Heather knows funny, and so maybe she really did leave this so-called "Sig Sauer hat" at my house. So I ask her what it looks like. Because yes, I really am that stupid.

She's all, "It's black with the words 'Sig Sauer' on the front." She's nice enough not to add a "duh" at the end.

Now I've established what this fabled hat looks like, so I do a quick once-over in my house. Nothing.
So I FB message her, "I'll keep looking, but I'm sure I would've noticed it by now," thinking all the while she's mistaken.

A few days go by, and we have some friends over who are admiring my new picture of London over our fireplace, and something catches my eye. Do you see it?

Here's a closer look. Tell me if you see it.
There are so many problems with this picture, worst of all the knowledge that at some point, I picked up the hat and put it on the nutcracker. (Why do we even have that nutcracker on display? Balancing precariously on a random plate?) And then, during all my 'once-overs' I never noticed it. And I was looking.

I shouldn't be surprised. That same day, Sam and his friend Brandon were stringing racquets when Sam asked me if I knew where we kept the allen wrenches. 

I'm all, "I know I've seen them somewhere lately. Where was it?"

A couple days later, I go out onto my front porch and see this.

Do you see it? Take a closer look:
To be fair to me, how was I supposed to find the allen wrenches before the allen wrench bulbs blossomed?

Luckily the weather has been just nice enough that by this weekend we should have a whole garden of allen wrenches.

I need therapy. 

So, what are y'all doing this weekend? Anything fun?


  1. Yes, you have lost your mind. Yes, you're crazy, but only the very best are. (Not trying to be rude or anything, but I just saw Alice in Wonderland- if you've seen the movie, you'll understand what I'm trying to do here. If you haven't, you need to go see it. Seriously)

  2. Oh gosh, I can't even tell you how this sounds like my life. And, hey, I've been needing some allen wrenches so maybe when you get your crop I could come by & pick up a set.

  3. Well at least on a good note you're 2/2 on finding the things! Even though it may have taken a few days.

    This weekend I'm going to a triple book launch, doing a 5k, hopefully finishing Ally Condie's latest book, and hopefully going on a date with my man.

  4. Why do you have a nutcracker sitting precariously on a plate?

    I didn't know Allen wrenches bloomed. I totally need to try that!

    This weekend, I'm doing homework, possibly going to lunch with Karen Shane (if we can coordinate a time and place), going to a movie with the hubs because Sunday is our 12th anniversary, and groaning when Sunday morning comes around because of daylight saving time.

    What are you doing?

  5. Nicole- I haven't seen it, so I will put it on my to-do list. I agree, all the best people are crazy.

    Olivia- Glad I'm not alone. I'll let you know when we harvest our crop of allen wrenches, and you can come pick them yourself!

    Debbie- Way to put a positive spin on it. I'm embarrassed to say, though, I didn't learn my lesson. I took the picture of the allen wrenches, and then left them right where they were.

  6. Oops - Karey not Karen. Evil typo gods!

  7. Jenni- That sounds like my weekend. Complaining about daylight savings, lunch with Karen...

    Congrats on your A-. Better than I ever got!

  8. Nikki- That is too true. I'm at my most creative when I'm closer to the crazy side of the spectrum.

  9. Ha! I've done that, searched everywhere for something that was plainly right smack in the middle of the world - complete with spotlight and I STILL didn't see it. When you said Sig Sauer, due to my reading, I instantly thought, a gun hat? Why would you need a gun in a hat? How do you fire it? Or does the gun wear the hat and why, is it allergic to sunlight?

    You wouldn't happen to start doing something, say emptying the dishwasher when the phone rings. You check and it's a telemarketer, you ignore it and realize you have laundry to move over. You move over the laundry, start the dryer but pause before starting the washer because you remember you didn't take out whatever for dinner, then you realize you need fill the dog's water bowl. Suffice to say, hubby comes home and find several tasks started but not necessarily completed. *Sigh* It is insanity or a sign that I need an assistant? Now add an infant to the mix and it takes on a whole new dimension!

    Please note: no infants or animals were harmed in the creating of this message.

  10. Well, really, normal has got to be so boring. At least from what I've heard. I've never actually been there myself.

    We are already in the throes of Spring Break (5 hours down, only 233 hours and 44 minutes to go). I love my kids, but they drive each other crazy and that throws me off my groove. And though my husband is still a student, his SB doesn't start for 2 weeks... grrr.

    Congrats on the finding of lost things! Maybe next week you'll find all of our minds that we've lost! (that was an interesting mental picture!) Have a great day and enjoy your fresh-picked allen wrenches!

  11. So THAT's what allen wrenches look like. When I forget (again), I'm coming back here to remind myself.

    I'm constantly asking my secretary to go through my office and find the file I know is there somewhere, but is somehow cloaking itself from me. Just me. I think it hates me. They all do.

    I'm leaving in an hour to drive to Wyoming for Jerry's grandma's "moving on party." Aka wake. Dunno why they don't just call it a wake.

    I'm trying to interpret my word verification. It either means that you're invited to the wake (which you totally are--Big Piney, WY on Saturday) or labels you as an up-and-coming author. Which, again, you totally are: "upecome"

  12. Ahhhhh well...we all lose our minds eventually, yeah? I suppose it's all just a matter of time and going out in style...which you have :)

  13. LOL.

    Hopefully I get to have a baby this weekend. So far though, she's ignoring her eviction notice...

  14. Una- It took me a couple times, but I finally figured out how you read it as a hat for a Sig Sauer! You must've been all, What? I'm glad you haven't fed the laundry and thrown the baby in the laundry yet.

    Shauna- I am not looking forward to Spring Break. It reminds me all to well of how Summer Break is looming.

    Robin- Normally I never turn down an invitation to a good wake... sorry about Jerry's grandma. As for losing things, at least you have a secretary. You could blame her, right?

    Melissa- good point. I'm losing my mind, but I'm doing it with style. I like that perspective.

  15. Britt- tenants can be so stubborn that way. I had a couple of my own once. Good luck! I really want to hold a baby, so hopefully I'll run into you soon. Boy or girl? I know you mentioned it before, but I have the memory of a sock.

  16. Girl. Though Mister is still hoping for puppies I think.

    I often only have the memory of a sock...

  17. Puppies, huh? Now that would make for an interesting book premise...

    When I was really really pregnant (as opposed to partially preggo) I used to dream weird things, like I was giving birth to a squirrel, and then the squirrel would run into the street and get hit by a car, and I'd be all, "I can't even keep a squirrel alive!"

    Pregnancy dreams. Crazy.

  18. I keep having dreams about being discharged from the hospital within like 4-5 hours of having the baby....

  19. I can just hear my Dad chortling, "If it had been a snake it would have bit you!" Good thing it wasn't a gun. With that analogy in play - could have been fatal!

    I'll have to come see your allen wrench garden. It's looking loverly.

    And hey! Don't we all need therapy??

    Oh my gosh! My word verification is "dipowear" - is someone playing some sick joke? Diaper wear?? The cosmic cyber giants definitely intended this one for me.

  20. ROFL! Allen wrenches blooming...HA HA HA!

  21. Whatever you do, don’t plant the hat!

  22. Britt- I totally don't want to scare you or anything, but that's exactly what happened with me and my first. Remind me to tell you the story sometime. Way after you've had the baby.

    Cath- I can totally imagine your dad saying that! And yes, the makers of the word verification have obviously had a glimpse into your life.

    L.T. Hee hee. Thanks for reading.

    Douglas- do you think that would lead to a gun garden, or a hat garden?

  23. Once when I was in third grade I couldn't find my glasses anywhere. I was freaking out because the bus was about to come and I still couldn't find them. My family was trying to talk to me but I just brushed them off in my frantic searching.
    Where did I find them? In the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and they were ON MY FACE!!!

    Sadly, my brain has still managed to go downhill since then.

    Oh look! Something shiny...

  24. Kayla- I do that all the time with my car keys. I lose them, and as I'm tearing through the house looking, their jangling in my hand.

  25. lol- that's hilarious. I have the same issues. "I know I've seen it somewhere," is a common phrase around our house, but I never thought of growing the missing items in the flowerbed. You're a genius!!!

  26. Holy cow, I can't believe I just used "their" instead of "they're". How embarrassing.

    Mary- See? We're kindreds.

  27. I'm with you on the insanity stuff. Except, I get so sidetracked with things that I totally forget what I'm looking for. I'll walk into a room and then stand there not knowing why I'm in that room, what I'm doing there or how I even got there. It's pretty sad.

  28. Don't you hate it when the Allen Wrenches get teased into blooming and then it freezes again? Hate that!

    You need a vacation!