Wednesday, March 24, 2010

In Which I lose my bid for Re-Election... and Who Knew Caucuses could be so Fun?

I lost my delegate bid last night at our neighborhood caucus.

It's okay though, because lemme explain my caucus. Usually our numbers are sparse at these things, especially for my particular party in my particular state. Most of our caucuses (or cauci?) are held in a janitor's closet with overflow room in a refrigerator box.

At the caucus two years ago, there were like three of us. We needed two delegates, so Diane nominated me and I nominated Diane, and Mike voted for both of us.  And then the janitor cast the deciding vote.

But last night, there was a huge crowd in the Skyline High School cafeteria and things got a little spicy.

I don't want to get all political on my blog, so I'll try to use a secret code:

Igniting Incident 1:
Our local Congressman (We'll call him "Jimmy") is a Shmemocrat, even though his district is mostly Freepublican.
"Jimmy" cracked corn...

Said local Congressman voted against a very recent bill dealing with Stealth Scare Perform.

Of course, the Shmemocrats in his district are very mad about this.

Igniting Incident 2:
Neighbor "Jane" decided to run against him, even though she's in the same party.
Jane- ready for a fight

Incident 3:
Out of all the 300 attendees, sitting at all the 30 tables, in all the cafeteria, in all the world, "Jane" and "Jimmy's representative" were sitting at our little precinct table.


At one point "Jimmy's representative" gets up to address the whole crowd, and defend "Jimmy's" vote, and the loudest heckling comes from our table. (Not from me. I don't heckle unless I'm in a Twilight movie. At this point I was really just wishing I was home watching American Idol.) 

Then Jimmy's representative has to return to sitting at our table so we can hold court and vote for delegates. Here's a recap:

So yeah, I didn't nominate myself this year. I've served my term. It's someone else's turn, especially since this year might be the year rotten fruit is thrown. And I don't eat fruit.


  1. Our caucus meeting was pretty entertaining too. Not near as 'sticky' as yours though. We had a pretty great turn out and everyone was very interested in it all and I think we didnt leave until 9:30ish.
    We had a random incident like that too. Earlier yesterday my hubby was telling me about a story in the paper about a guy who was causing a scene about one of his amendment rights. Turns out he was in my caucus and running for state delegate. Good times.

  2. Debbie- So funny. I recognized a guy in our caucus meeting. I'd hit him with a tennis ball the night before at our tennis workout. Yeah, I totally avoided him.

  3. At the last minute I wasn’t able to attend my caucus. Happy to hear both of you participated in the process.

    But did you have to use martial arts? Maybe it’s a good thing I wasn’t able to attend. I only know jakenpon.

    Glad the Shmemocrat voted against the bill. It was a messy bill and I fear it won’t be as helpful as is claimed. On the upside I can totally avoid the 10% tanning tax implemented immediately. My skin’s so stubburn I couldn’t tan if you sprayed me with tan paint…

  4. And you especially don't eat fruit with chocolate.

  5. Wow. Sounds like a fun evening. That was just fruit they were shooting out of the bazooka, right?

  6. Douglas- It sounds like you are talking about a "Health Care" bill, and I was only referring to a "Stealth Scare" bill. And I'm gonna have to Google jakenpon...

    Valynne- Fruit with chocolate is an abomination, so saith the Psalm. Or somebody.

    Heather- Right back atcha.

    Jenilyn- It was totally fruit in the bazooka. And when the stick guy's arm got ripped off, it bled only fruit punch.

  7. oh my! i wish i had a video of the whole thing...

    was the heckler by an chance named Schmiane? LOL

  8. Hey, fellow sinner! I love Shmemocrat caucus meetings here. We used to sit around in my neighbor's living room and eat treats and swap jokes, while the other party had fist fights at the elementary school. Now I only go if I have time to be a delegate, because if I come, chances are there'll only be two or three of us and somebody else might have a better excuse, like surgery, for ducking out of the responsibility.

  9. Dorien- actually Shmike, and a couple of our friends on Capricorn were the louder ones. You should've been there.

    Elena- The worst is when you're the only person there, and you have to go find your neighbor's dog to second your own nomination...

  10. Yikes, we should've had writers group last night after all.

  11. Why didn't I get a memo about the caucus in my area? I totally would've gone...not! :)

  12. I feel like a slacker. Oh well. Politics isn't my scene and I had a migraine. That's all for my excuses.

  13. I've never been to a cactus meeting (tee hee), but they sure do look like fun! In fact I have never heard of them besides government class. I wonder if they even occur here...

    But seeing as I have no martial art ability (nor am I a stick figure) I think I'll pass. I get enough politics and rules of order in the commission meetings that I am a part of.

  14. Brodi ~ Jankenpon is the ancient Japanese martial art of negotiators.

  15. Wow. That stick figure fight was gruesome. And the video too. ;)

  16. Kim- but then I'd have missed the violence.

    Jenni- I'm sensing sarcasm...

    Shauna- funny. Politics gave me a migraine last night.

    Una- There is definitely such a thing as too much politics. I just went because I didn't want to put the kids to bed.

    Douglas- we totally could've used those skills last night!

    L.T. - who knew that stick figures could bleed so much?

  17. Oh man, I hear you on us 'shemocrates' meeting in closets.

    You should have seen the look I got from our neighbor just recently when the subject of political parties came up.

    I had to mentally rewind & listen back to see if I had misspoke & said "Oh, you know, I eat babies". The shock on her face made me wonder.

  18. He, he, said caucus! Ha, ha, ha!

    (...and that is why I listen to Bob and Tom and Tivo Seinfeld to watch instead of the news...I don't make a good concerned citizen...just counting down the hours till Armagedon...)

  19. Olivia- that's funny because "eat babies" was item number 3 at our meeting.

    Cam- he he.

  20. Does it say something about me that I found that stick figure fight hilarious?

  21. Mary- That's why I put it in there. I couldn't stop laughing!

  22. Your incognito language was so dang funny. I'm still laughing over stealth care preform. Seriously - that many dems showed up??? Wow. Yeah... it's one hot item right now. I actually thought the republicans here had small turnouts too - because they were such a majority. Enough people to do the job, right?

    Well, I won't even begin to toss in my two cents about the bill - someone might shoot me - virtual style!

  23. Cath- That's why I never tell people what I think about politics, especially when it comes to the Stealth Scare Perform. It can be violent out there!