Friday, March 5, 2010

What I'm Reading, What I'm Writing, and This Week's Things that Must Go.

Good Friday, yon bloggerland.

What I'm reading:
The Loser's Guide to Life and Love.

It's a retelling of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, set in a contemporary high school, and so far I've laughed out loud several times.

The author, Ann Cannon, and another local author Ann Dee Ellis are hosting a Writing Marathon March 18-20. And by "hosting", I think they mean virtually, and by "Marthon", I'm assured there will be no running, or physical exertion of any kind.

Basically, you commit to writing as much as you can on those days, and then you make a goal, and then you get to reward yourself if you reach your goal.

I committed to 20,000 words. If I reach my goal, I'm flying to the moon and releasing a dove to symbolize my fledgling writing career. If the dove flies away, I'll know I'm gonna be published someday.

Anyway, to all of you writers, hop on over to their blog and sign up with me. Tell them I sent you, and you'll receive 10% off the free admission price. You can't beat that!

p.s. I'm giving away a copy of Loser's Guide to Life and Love. Read to the bottom to find out more.

What I'm Writing:
My current WIP is a mystery, and it's a mess. At least with paranormal stories, I can create complex mythologies to cover up for stuff that doesn't make sense. This book is actually making me use my brain, and I really hate to use my brain. I'm seriously considering throwing a ghost in there.

This Week's List of Things That Must go:

1. The top three reactions to my recent adventures in hair dying must go:
a. "I have a canary that color."
b. "Ha ha. Will you never learn?"
c. "At least you got warm colors. And by warm, I mean flaming."

Here's how my hair will look for the next two weeks (which is when my hair person is scheduled to clean up my mess... that is, if she still will have me. I think I may have damaged our relationship permanently)

2. An education system with no sense of humor must go.
Kid C was supposed to do a report on an animal indigenous to Australia. I convinced him to do it on Dingoes, and then I made him practice the line, "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" over and over. No one thought it was funny. Maybe he didn't have the accent down...

3. In honor of Grammar week, my sister's most famous malapropism must go:
(Talking about Diet Coke) "I have a wooden leg for that stuff."

Bonus: This guy, I won't name names, used to always say, "C'mon guys, It's not rocket scientists."

4. The Great Spring Fakeout must go.
After a mild winter with dismal snow totals, I was starting to smell spring sunshine in the air. (It smells like chicken with a hint of Rosemary seasoning). But today, snow storm. Curses, Mother Nature!

It's not the snow storm that makes me angry, it's the lack of consistency. As my mother used to say, "Inconsistency is a road to Hell paved with Good Intentions."

5. And finally, school breaks that make no sense must go.
Kid C is home today, because it's "No Attendance Day". 

I remember when the settlers first came to our valley, perservering through inconsistent weather and starvation. After their long journey, they looked out over the land, and their leader marked the spot with his staff and said "This is the place, because X marks the spot. Let today, March 5, forever be known and celebrated as... NO ATTENDANCE DAY!"

Bonus Free Book Friday:
As a bonus for those of you who read this far, leave a comment about your own things that must go, and you'll be entered to win your very own signed copy of A.E. Cannon's THE LOSER'S GUIDE TO LIFE AND LOVE.

So, are you going to sign up to do the writing marathon? Or am I alone on this?


  1. I seriously want to do away with Word's insistence that it knows best how to format my WIP and it keeps changing things for inexplicable reasons. That's what I want to do away with most at the moment.

    I thought about doing the writing marathon, but I just barely finished my rough draft and I want to revise it, not write something new at the moment.

  2. I so hear you on the "Word thinks it's smarter than me" whole thingee. I get so mad about those orphan lines. Leave them in already!

    As for the marathon, I think you can totally make it a revision goal as opposed to a writing goal. Like, revise half of your book?

  3. When I saw your hair in person a week ago, I didn't think it looked bad at all. Did you do something else to it since then?

    My list of things that must go:
    1. My current English teacher. I'm never going to get an A on any of my papers in his class. I was hoping for an A- at least. Oh well. ;)

    2. Sugar cravings. I really need to not eat sugar anymore. It's my downfall.

    3. The snow. I love the snow, but I'm sick of it now. I want Spring to be here. It's my favorite season (mostly because of my birthday), but I never get to fully appreciate it because Winter takes too long to leave and Summer comes on too quickly.

  4. That scene from Seinfeld is truly, without a doubt, one of my all time favorites from any tv show. Elaine rocks.

    Who is that good looking guy by that truck in your pic? Sheesh, don't ever let him go or he will be snatched up in an instant.

  5. Jenni- If it makes you feel any better, I never, ever, received an A or an A- for that matter on any English or Writing paper.

    Of course, you probably look at my blog, and say to yourself, "Shocker."

    Sam- Did I catch a shot of the mailman? I'm never gonna let him go. Thanks for the reminder.

  6. lol, great post.

    i have to agree on your #5, and i don't even have kids. in hawaii, the govt has instated furlough fridays in order to make budget cuts and i just can't see how that is the best way to make those said cuts.

    anyways, my things that must go:

    my uninspiring job. nuff said.
    my mop of a hairdo is just out of control
    clutter. and i have a lot of it.

    p.s. can doves fly on the moon? i'd hate to find out that they can't and that you've just doomed your writing career right from the start.

  7. I have joined the writing marathon and will catch up on my writing--that first chapter contest ate a whole week! So, that week, I'll write an extra 3000 words. Can't possibly compete with 20,000--you're a madwoman!--but I'll do my best.

    I'd love a copy of The Loser's Guide to Life and Love. It has several elements that sound similar to my own WIP, so now I'm nervous! :)

    My Word Verification is "nonborti." Flip two letters and change the "t" to a "d"... and it doesn't sound like it likes you much!

  8. the little person: Every day should be furlough day if you live in Hawaii, right? As for that poor dove out in outer space, you're probably right. He's doomed. Thanks for finding the blog!

    Robin- As it turns out, I'm having a very Nonbrodi day. Your word verification tells the truth! And when I say I'm going to write 20,000 words, I didn't specify which ones exactly, so it should be pretty easy.

  9. The dingo ate my baby - love it! Can't believe they didn't laugh. Maybe everyone decided to take a mental non-attendance day - I do that often. The snow fall is amazing. It is sort of consistent though. All winter we've been getting these really nice sunshiny days and then next day, snow. Things I need to get rid of, hmm -
    I definitely think the unwashed pans on my stove need to go - I think I'll chuck them out the window. Also the pile of dirty clothes in my laundry room needs to go. Maybe I'll throw them out as well and light a signal fire begging someone to rescue you me from this hell. Oh wait...sorry...I've been watching too much LOST. Have a good weekend Brodi.

  10. Alas, if I had talent, I would join the writing marathon, but as I have none, I'll just cheer you all on and offer to read it!

    Things that must go:
    Bra straps that don't stay on shoulders!
    Leaky travel mugs.
    Outlook (or email program in general) not being standard on a computer! Why should I have to buy an email program when I get a new computer?!?!
    Having the doctor stick you on a lowfat diet.

    Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!!

    P.S. I actually got a word in my word verification: ships. I thought they were NEVER real words!

  11. Things that must go:

    1. Urine Samples. This is my second pregnancy, and I haven't gotten any better at this. ugh.

    2. Falling asleep so early. I've been trying for a week to watch Horatio Hornblower Vol 2! It's getting ridiculous.

  12. Things that must go:
    a whole bunch of stuff in my house - decluttering mania
    airplanes - this would solve a lot of problems for me
    junk mail
    anyone else who wants to sell me something

    Jenni - if you're serious about the sugar, check out my blog.

  13. Mary- Ha ha. I too am suffering from too much LOST. I hate dirty dishes. That's why we only eat on paper plates in my household. I hate to get the sink dirty by using it.

    Una- the word verification people are probably going, "Crap! Who's the idiot that programmed a word that makes sense? Heads are gonna roll!"

    Alysa- I hope your penchant for sleeping isn't due to the show you're watching. And I can't argue with your number one. Thanks for reading!

    Cherie- Ditto on the people trying to sell me stuff, or the people trying to wrangle money out of me. At this point in our financial life, it's like trying to milk a spider.

    Explain the airplane one, however. Not that I'm an advocate for the Fair and Ethical Treatment of Airplanes or anything, just curious.

  14. Must go: Commercials at the fronts of DVDs that you have to watch every time - no skipping ahead to the main menu.

    I just realized the nubbly little green border around your blog text? It's the fabric on our sofa. Cool. Spooky.

    Happy Friday!

  15. So... what happens if the dove just gets sucked into the vacuum of space?

    I thing that snooty coworkers need to go... along with their fake eyelashes, clacky heals, and superior attitudes.

    The other thing that needs to go is this stupid ulcer so I can enjoy eating again. I've got some dark chocolate taunting me in my pantry!

    I would join you in your writing marathon as long as writing a "To Do" list counts!

    Oh and Happy No Attendance Day!!!

  16. No wonder the dinosaur museum was so crowded today. Someone had school off. I'm glad they stagger them around here so the whole valley isn't off at the same time.

    Things that must go:
    Important plans not working out.
    Having to be in 3 places at once.
    The bottom of my pants getting wet when I walk out in this stinkin snow.

  17. The foot lodged under my ribs must go, I tell you. Well... in a week or two anyway....

    Okay, the foot must *move* now and really go in a week or two... ;)

    Also, along the lines of "no attendance day" what the heck is up with the track that starts school and then goes off track 6 school days later??? Seriously?

    And there's a ridiculous amount of snow in my yard. Blah.


  18. Oooo... I'm going to go check out that writing marathon. Although I my daughters birthday is the 20th, but maybe I can reschedule her for the Monday after the weekend. Like Lincoln.

    Things that must go:

    1. pink eye. My daughter has it & I'm climbing the walls from being quarentined in the house.

    2. Being completely and utterly confused by the dang LOST show. Seriously, my brain turns to jelly when I watch it.

  19. Shannon- That is way spooky. It's like we were meant to be friends.

    Kayla- Then I guess my writing career will be sucked into space. I agree- clackity heels and fake eyelashes should be outlawed. But then my mother wouldn't ever get to visit us. Just kidding. She doesn't read my blog.

    Debbie- is the snow up to your waist down there? It's already melted at our house.

    Britt- I remember those foot in the rib days. I used to get so claustrophobic. At least you know it won't be that way forever. Unless you're a character in a really bad sci-fi book.

    Olivia- I think all birthdays for that weekend are being rescheduled by the federal government, so you should be good to go. Sign up!

  20. 1) Teachers who do not explain homework!
    2) Brothers
    3) Spiders
    4) Sickness

  21. This made me laugh so hard! Seriously, you should have your own show; you'd be so much better than that annoying girl on Studio 5 who thinks she's funny.

    Sorry about the snow. I sat on my back porch and worked on my tan while finally reading 'The Princess Bride'. (I can quote the entire movie, I figured I should probably read it.) Come on down to St George, it's gorgeous!

    Things that must go: whining kids. They've been great today, but last night I really wanted to give them all a binky so they'd stop. And they are all too old for those.

  22. One of my favorite Seinfeld lines ever!!!!

    Things that must go:

    -Bad breath
    -Reality TV
    -Alarm Clocks

  23. Lily- Excellent list. Although I'll try to keep it secret from your brother Joe.

    Kimberly- Um... is that an invitation? Because if it is... No Take Backs! Is this weekend good for you? I'll bring the breathe-right strips. Sam will bring his spandex nightie.

    Cam- are your things that must go really a list of my personal traits? Bad breath, check. Love Reality TV, check. Have cellulite, checkity check. Are you trying to tell me something?

  24. Things that need to go. High Gas bills I'm not remotely kidding when I say mine was $499.00 this past month!!!! WHAT THE!!!!

    okay so its because I didn't pay the month before. i forgot!

    I love celebrating no attendance day. we usually just lay in our jammies and watch cartoons all day. so fun.

  25. Thing that must go: the inversion. As a recent transplant to salt lake, I still don't really get what it is, but I've realized it makes a great scapegoat for many things. On a more serious note, food allergies - especially ones you can't figure out - definitely have got to go.

  26. No attendance day! I'm laughing so hard I can barely type. And the dingo ate your baby is one of my FAVORITE Seinfeld moments. Ah, Brodi. You rock.

  27. Shell- If I could get my kids to lay in bed and watch a movie, I'd love No-Attendance day too.

    bibliophile- I know. My son's allergic to nuts. And the inversion. So I'm with you on both of those.

    L.T.- Seinfeld had some classics, didn't it? But I'm afraid now that every time I quote it, I'm dating myself.

  28. I don't know why my malapropism has to go?! That was such a great one that I think I'll let it stay around just a little longer. In fact, I will use it in an upcoming family get together just to prove how cool and catchy that particular phrase is...;0

    Things that must go: Canckles. Oh wait, they've already gone. How 'bout big pores that house little villages in them. Yeah, they must go!

  29. me (jumping up and down)--olivia did a dingo report too for her 1st grade report!!! i made her memorize the EXACT SAME LINE and laughed and laughed while she gave me weird looks!

    i know who to call next time to laugh w/me~

    and i owe you a CASE of good n plenty's for my GINORNOUS error this morning! i hope you are still speaking to me. (how's that for a public apology--SO SORRY!)

  30. oops...

    ps. things that must go would be people (me) that make other people (you) get up early on saturday, dressed UP on saturday, and be at my "beck and call" on saturday-- only to learn that they (me) have the wrong saturday altogether!

    so i guess *I* must go....LOL!

  31. Oops! I didn't say what things should go! Though joining the marathon should certainly be enough for the drawing (grins), I'd be generally happy if we could do away with entropy. So much more would get done if it would just STAY DONE!

    My word verification reminds me that the Queen of Hearts likes to do away with people's ties... um, heads: "offiatie." You can see it, right?

  32. Erin- I was wondering when you'd chime in. Where did your cankles go? Or were you referring to mine?

    Dorien- I can't believe they both did the dingoes and said the same line! See? We're meant to be friends. As for the snafu yesterday, all is forgiven if you give me some of your homemade jam.

    Robin- I can totally see it. And you're right, entropy sucks. I'll take it up with Newton.

  33. Things that must go ... In general, all these earthquakes and tsunamis around the world. Personally? Having to wake up at 6 AM on saturdays, I really want to sleep in!

  34. I just found your blog, while I was looking for information the sequel to "The Maze Runner". I've read a few entries and have really enjoyed it. Congratulations on earning a place in my RSS feed reader!

    Things that must go from my life:
    1. Microwave that no longer actually microwaves things. The tunrtable works, the light, timer, fan, everything but, ya know, the actual microwave. I'm figuring it's the magnatron that went. I bought and installed a new one, but now I have to figure out how to get rid of the old one. The "set it out on the curb and wait for someone to pick it up" method doesn't seem to be working this time.

    Thanks for the fun blog and the chance to win a book!
    ruthann (dot) francis (at) gmail (dot) com

  35. 1. Mondays should go. Just the getting up part. I like the fact that the kids are in school again, but we always stay up too late all weekend, which makes getting up on Monday excruciating.

    2. Pain. All pain should definitely go! Especially mine. I can't move my arms or neck without sending shock waves of pain through my back! (and that's after taking a muscle relaxant!)

    3. Messes can evaporate too. Has anyone else dreamt of having a magic wand and shouting "scourgify" to their kitchen sink?

    As far as the writing marathon goes, can that include updating my own blogs?? Even that might be a stretch for me this week!

  36. Spav- amen to that.

    Rue- I have one of those microwaves in my kitchen right now! It just stopped cooking this weekend. It turns, lights on, etc. but no cooking! So, I'm totally with you on that one. Thanks for finding the blog.

    Shauna- wouldn't it be great if saturday and sunday were the weekend and then Monday was the recovery, and then the week started on tuesday? I think we have a good thing going here. We should alert Congress or something. Or Captain Piccard: "Make it so."

  37. I hate writing mysteries. Can someone please finish mine for me? And when am I going to get to see the hair?

  38. The Airplane thing - well, I don't like to fly for many reasons, some of which involve airplane bathrooms, and recycled air. Oh, and people get mad if you actually run on the plane, as opposed to sedately walking, even if you've been sitting there FOREVER and you just can't stand it anymore (this is a guess, I just wanted to run, but I didn't do it).
    And people (read in-laws) keep planning trips that require flying, long car trips, or creative excuses.

  39. Valynne- I need help.

    Cherie- Running on airplanes should be instituted. People could do laps.

  40. Exactly! They could promote it as a way to prevent those deadly blood clots. :-)