Friday, January 21, 2011

Vote for my Official Author Photograph, and a Surprise Visit from Jowly McCheekerton

Happy Friday, yo. 

It's time to unveil the official Author photo!

At least, that's the picture that you see. 

When I look at it, I see this:

Hi! My name's Jowly McCheekerton. What's yours? 

I can only guess what you're thinking:

"Her cup-o-cheek runneth over."

"I didn't know she chewed tobacco!"

"Looks like the Godfather got together with a chipmunk..."

Since I'm not great with photoshop, or any of those other programs, I've come up with a few solutions that don't require much tech know-how. Please vote for your favorite.

Solution #1:
"I think she has a little something on her face. What is that? A crumb?"

Oh no. It's not a crumb. It's just a pickle, of course. Probably left over from when they ate lunch. Happens to me all the time.

Option #2:
"Oh look! She's peeking out from behind a fascinating brick wall. How coy!"

Oh, no, wait! It's the Berlin wall! Even better! She's so political.

Option #3:
"Boy, it must've been really cold that day!"

Awesome ski mask, though!

So. please vote for your favorite option. Personally, I'm inclined to go with the Berlin Wall, only this time I'll step behind it completely. 

My photographer "Opie" was awesome, by the way. She did the best she could, given her cheek-matter...  I mean, her subject matter. 

p.s. Photos by Opie Foto


  1. You look hott! and beautiful. Obviously the first one.

    I would also like to commend you on your photoshop skills. Very talented.

  2. This is hilarious. I'm doing a facial mask right now, needless to say it's all cracked from this post and pics!

    Thanks for sharing. I think your picture is wonderful by the way and doesn't need any "fixing" but, if I had to, the random pickle is fantastic.

  3. Sam- You'd choose the one with the pickle? I'd have thought you'd be more of a Berlin Wall kind of guy...

    Jenny- Thanks! Sorry about cracking your facial mask, but it was for a good cause!

  4. Wow! That is such a great picture! Seriously. You can make fun all you like, but I think it looks great!

  5. Nicole- Which one? The one with the pickle? (Thanks!)

  6. You are so hysterical! You're the only one looking at your cheek but I guarantee the pickle shot would sell books! You could go with a Jersey Shore theme and photoshop Snooki in with you, wearing her pickle Halloween costume!

    Or you could use the brick wall... I like the "sexy hide and seek" effect!

  7. Love it! Opie did a fabulous job! Love the red scarf! It compliments the brick wall beautifully.

  8. Hilarious! Your picture is adorable, and I did not notice "Jowly McCheekerton" until you pointed it out. (Go with the first picture, of course!)

  9. Gina- Maybe a brick wall on one side, and a pickle on the other. Even sexier!

    Shari- Thanks. My mom brought the red scarf. As old as I am, my mom still dresses me.

  10. Lynne- The one with the pickle?

    Okay, folks. The pickle one is winning hands down!

  11. So funny - you look awesome in all your pictures - I think you should go with the pickle. We all get a little pickle on our face once in awhile don't we. ha!

  12. You look great! Definitely NOT jowly! I personally like the ski mask. It adds a certain mysterious quality. People will be like, what does she look like? Is she a recluse? I must know the secret behind the mystery!

    Just kidding. I like the original, unedited photo the best. You look great!

  13. Mary- Another vote for the one with the pickle. Thanks!

    Lulabell- Oooh. Going against the crowd. A vote for the ski mask! I like the reasoning: "Did acid spill on her face as a child? Is she really the Phantom of the Opera?"

    So many theories to choose from!

  14. Oh, McCheekerton McShmeekerton! You look beautiful in the first one. Hold the pickle. might be cool to tie the picture to your story: could you photoshop yourself peeking out from the entrance to the underworld? You might have to lose the smile, but you could make your eyes red to match your scarf!

    Just a suggestion.

  15. It is a darling (in a professional way) picture! Although the pickle is pretty intriguing...

  16. Carrie- excellent suggestion! I shall get to work photoshopping it. Now to google the phrase "entrance to the mouth of Hell".

    If that doesn't work, I'll mark another one down for the one with the pickle. Hold the pickle. Extra mayo.

  17. Keersten- Thanks! The pickle one really is full of intrigue and rife with possibility, isn't it?

  18. Personally, I like the peeking around the brick wall. It's very stalker-ish. Which we were told writers needed to be, if you'll remember.

    I love the original picture though. You look gorgeous and not at all cold. Cool and poised, yes, but not cold.

  19. LOL! I like the mystery of the brick wall, but the pickle really says, "I'm unpredictable! And I have a pickle on my face!" Which in publishing = WIN.

    However, the first one is lovely! I love the red scarf.

  20. I LOVE the official author pic! It turned out great!!

    As far as your alternative photos.... I'm thinking the brick wall. It's mysterious. Though, the pickle is pretty hilarious. :)

  21. I really love your photo! And, I don't think you need anything to dress it up or made it better! You are quite pretty!

  22. Cute picture! =) And I like the official shot!

  23. Frankly, girls looking at the picture will want to know where your mom bought the scarf, and guys looking at it will wonder what they can see inside your coat.... :) Either way, no one will think there's anything wrong with your face... unless there's a pickle on it.

    Besides: sometimes a pickle is just a pickle.

    You look awesome, Brodi!

  24. Lovely photo of you! Of course. If you are determined to play with photoshop, though, You might want to consider taking out the bit (is it shirt collar? that looks at first glance like a creepy manicured finger poking through your hoop earring.

    (Shoot, does that sound mean? I don't want to be mean, I just found it the only distracting element in an otherwise beautiful photo. Nobody else has mentioned it, so *ahem* maybe it's just my monitor. Or my crazy :)

  25. Jenilyn- It DOES look stalkerish! Another vote for the wall.

    Katie- You're right. Nothing says unpredictable like an entire pickle on you face. Vote counted!

    Kristin- One more for the mysterious brick wall.

    Jill- Thanks, girlfriend. Right back atcha!

    Jenni- Thanks! You rock.

    Wanetta- Thank you!

    Robin- Inside my coat... there is... another coat! And then another, and another and another, until all that's left is a rat.

    Gypmar- Now that you mention it, it totally looks like a ghostly, bloated finger with red nail polish. Which makes my picture... even awesomer!

  26. its a lovely picture (you ROCK the red scarf!) if i HAVE TO choose an alternate one-i'm going w/the pickle.

  27. Dorien- And the one with the pickle continues its dominance. Thanks!

  28. Thanks, Donna! I bet when you smile, you don't have jowls...

  29. You made me laugh, and I just wake up.

    You look beautiful in the picture just how you are. Has movement and comes naturally. Nothing walls!

  30. Actually, by "the first one" I meant the un-Photoshopped picture-- just your adorable self!

  31. Estefania- "Has movement". Thanks! That's a great compliment.

    Lynne- Right. The one with the pickle. (Ha ha. I just love saying "the one with the pickle". I've been going around my house all weekend saying, "Right! The one with the pickle!" My family is going nuts.)

  32. I love your picture, Brodi! Very cute! =]

    (Second choice would be the mask...nothing like having a creeper hiding at the end of a good book!)

  33. OH gosh, SO FUNNY! But seriously, it's a great picture! Love the red scarf!

  34. Super cute pic! When do we get to see more choices?

  35. Mel- One vote for the mask. Thanks!

    Olivia- Thank you! Ironically, that scarf is the same one my mom gave me for Christmas, and which I promptly made fun of.

    Heids- I'll unveil more choices... when... I figure out how to transfer them from my CD to my computer.