Friday, January 15, 2010

Free Book Friday: THE MAZE RUNNER... Calling all De-Lurkers. And non-De-lurkers too.

Happy Friday y'all!

The kids are out of school, though, so how happy could it really be? Ha ha.

1.  Many of you told me that after Wednesday's blog, you had my writer's block song stuck in your head. I apologize. The last thing you need in your head when you're trying to write, is my voice singing that lame song. I should know. My voice is in my head all the time, and I can't write a thing.

2. My friend Sara B. (#6 on the "Crazy" list) has started a blog. She promised she would start one if I would finish my darn book and send it to her, so I was all over that like gravy on chicken.

Anyway, Sara is very funny with a wry sense of humor, and in her latest entry, she explains why she was voted #6 crazy, and why people like me were voted #1. So stop by and say hi - and defend my honor - if you get a chance!

Also, did I mention my critique group is called "The Six"? Here we are:

The Six

Well, we are officially on Wikipedia! (Thanks to Wiki-fiend Ben. Please don't misread and think "wiki-friend"). Okay, maybe we're not officially on it yet, but very soon we will be. Especially after our Writer's Conference on a Cruise Ship. Emily Wing Smith, our cruise director is planning it.

Check out our entry here.

3. Lastly, and Most Importantly...
or is it Last and Most Important? (I think Stephen King would choose the latter, since he abhors -ly adverbs. Abhors them vehementally.)

Anywho, around the blogging world, it's "De-Lurk Week" or something to that effect. I totally want in on that action. So, in honor of De-Lurk Week, I am reconstituting Free Book Fridays!

(Reconstituting involves taking the shriveled old and decrepid FBF and putting it in a vat of water mixed with laundry detergent, and voila! Reconstituted FBF. I learned this on an episode of Bones.)

Up for grabs is an autographed copy of James Dashner's THE MAZE RUNNER

By the way, before you non-de-lurkers stop reading, know this: you can be entered too by answering the same questions, and then telling the de-lurkers how painless it is to de-lurk. How we are all very nice!

For Lurkers:
Answer any or all of the following questions.

For non-Lurkers:
Answer the questions, and give a shout out to the lurkers.

1. Name, rank and serial number
2. How did you find the blog?
3. Do you know how to kill goldfish and make it look like an accident?

(Check out the new digs. This is getting ridiculous. They are eating me out of house and home.)

4. Do you write? Read? If so, what?
5. If a Priest, a Rabbi, and Ghandi walk into a bar, who's walking out?
6. Anything else you'd care to share? Anything on your mind? Anything you'd like to ask me?

As in the days of yore (last November), winners will be picked out of a hat by Smokey, our hairless cat.

Okay, folks, that's all. Please de-lurk so I don't look like a loser.


  1. I love the Wikipedia entry! So cool!

    1. My name is Jeni. My rank is Q and my serial number has been scrubbed off during all the repeated washings.
    2. Um, I met you at a conference and you emailed us all the link.
    3. I seem to be talented at killing fish, but I have yet to figure out how I do it. But I can say that guppies are NOT the low maintenance pets I thought they'd be. Still, probably easier than the sister my daughter requested.
    4. Both. YA, of course. Is there anything else?
    5. I'm voting for Ghandi.
    6. I'm curious to know how long it took for you to get an agent from the time you started submitting.

  2. To all you lurkers,
    Reasons to de-lurk:
    1) Everybody knows Brodi. Just ask James Dashner.
    2) Who doesn't want to enter a contest for free books?
    3) She is hilarious, which is why you read her blog. Isn't it time to give back? Do it for the children.
    4) Come on. Everybody's doing it. Once won't hurt, right?

  3. 1. Sara, #6, serial this.
    2. Long ago, in a land far away
    3. My vote: Aqua sand
    4. Yes. and Yes. Currently, this book called Echo. Pretty fab.
    5. The Rabbi. Haven't Jews pretty much stood the test of time ... and everything else?

    V's right. De-lurk. For the children, and dying Polar Bears. Isn't it about ... time?

  4. I am, I guess, more of a stalker than a lurker.

    I say you get rid of the fish and get an African grey parrot. That would be awesome.

    Don't worry about getting me James' book...we are best friends so I can get one whenever I want. Thanks though!

  5. Jenilyn- About #6, lemme think. I started querying I think in June, and I got my agent in October. So, four months?

    But it would've gone a lot slower if Ted hadn't read it so quickly. He forced a lot of other agents who had a full to read it quickly and respond.

    Valynne- #1 and #3 had me laughing out loud.

    Sara- Thanks for sticking up for the dying polar bears. If my blog does nothing else, it will save a polar bear life. Oh, wait... what was my blog supposed to do again?

    Sam- Dude, stop stalking me.

  6. 2. i found your blog through your cousin, debbie, i think.

    3. to answer your question, a fish parable: we went on a 3 week vacation leaving my husband to feed our fish. when we got back home i asked him if he fed the fish. "we have a fish?" he asked. and it was still alive.

    so, i asked my kids if they would rather dump it down the toilet or clean the bowl. they chose to dump it down the toilet and we have lived happily ever after.

    4. i write charming ya fairy tales about death and suffering and am now working on a dystopian sci-fi love story.

    5. me.

    6. shame on you, nbc. conan is king.

  7. I do have somewhat of a confession to make about the Wiki page. It is not an "official" Wiki page. I tried to actually create a Wiki page entitled The SIX and I received several threatening notifications from Wikipedia about not creating hoaxes or vandalizing entries. So the only way to actually get the page up was to put it in a sandbox page under my user name. My apologies for misleading anyone to think it was an actual, officially certified Wikipedia entry, but I still thought it looked pretty cool.

    Is that a real cat???

  8. That wiki entry is hilarious! I love catching all the things I've learned about your group so far, esp the husband part, so fun.

    Yay that Sara has a blog! Corrupting people one day at a time...

    1. Debbie, 10, it's on my behind and I can't read it
    2. I really don't remember, it must have been fate.
    3. Just drop a little plastic gun in there, the kids will figure it out.
    4. Read. Alot! This week I've read Meg Cabot's Airhead, Sydney Salters Jungle Crossing, Josi Kilpacks Lemon Tart and I just started James Dashners The 13th Reality
    5. Dumbo
    6. I've been dieing to ask you, just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsi pop??

  9. 1. Name, rank and serial number
    Name: L.T. Elliot
    Rank: Peon
    Ser.#: 24601 ;)
    2. How did you find the blog?
    Debbie of Cranberry Fries. =]
    3. Do you know how to kill goldfish and make it look like an accident?
    No. I return them to the pet store. Seriously.
    4. Do you write? Read? If so, what?
    Yes & Yes. I read whatever I can get my hands on.
    5. If a Priest, a Rabbi, and Ghandi walk into a bar, who's walking out?
    Ghandi. He’s scrappy.
    6. Anything else you'd care to share? Anything on your mind?
    I’m making salsa today. I hope it turns out.

  10. Rachel- I agree about Conan. I can't believe what they are doing to him in the name of "semi-funny chin guy".

    Ben- Don't worry- I changed it to say it's not quite official... yet. That is seriously very cool of you to make the page though!

    Debbie- It takes me three licks. But, I admit, I have a tongue like sandpaper.

    L.T.- Ha ha to #'s one and five, and do you have a good salsa recipe? If so, send it my way!

  11. Hey Lurkers! Show yourselves! It's not polite to read a blog and not comment - like going to someones house for dinner and not offering to bring anything - major party foul.

    1. Camille Ballou

    2. Some crazy friend of my husband turned me onto it.

    3. Yes - turn of the heat in your house in the middle of winter, go on vacation for 4 or 5 days asking a neighbor to feed them, come back and the fish will be dead (cold blooded creatures :) Got rid of some beta's that way!)

    4. Yes. Yes. Poo. YA and chick lit.

    5. ME

    6. I am all about the MAZE RUNNER!!! Pick me Smokey, pick me!!! I take back everything I ever said....You are beautiful and not at all creepy and satanic looking.

  12. Cam- I knew if anyone could threaten our dear lurkers into submission, it would be you!

    And I tried to convey your apologies to Smokey, but he would have none of it. He fled the room, leaving is tell-tale oil slick in his wake.

  13. 1. Name: Heather Isaacson. Rank? No, I showered today. Serial number: Is that the same as number of cereals? I believe we currently have 3.

    2. Followed a link on Jen Parr's blog.

    3. I believe Melanie Jex already gave you a foolproof way to off those little buggers. If you aren't comfortable with murder by sponge, ask Sam or Kid C to do it.

    4. I read, when I have time. I write in my head, but haven't transferred any of my ideas to anything more tangible.

    5. None of them. But it must have hurt when they walked into that bar.

    6. I also had that song stuck in my head. Even the Little Einsteins were unsuccessful at removing it.

    6. Today is the first day in several that I've been able to sort of see the mountain. Usually there's this big brown opaque mass blocking it.

    6. I finished 2 of the 3 books you lent me. I'll bring them by later today, since today is only a yellow air day.

    6. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

    A: To get to the bottom.

  14. Heather- Ha ha on #1! Which 2 of the three books did you finish? And did you like what you read?

  15. Totally not much of a lurker, and I have Maze Runner.... 'cause I won it from you a few months ago. :D

    But, hey, I'm commenting anyway. So there.

    You have to TRY to kill a goldfish? Seriously?? I've never ever kept one alive for more than 3 weeks. I'm mildly surprised that the bettas are still alive... we've had them almost 2 weeks.

  16. I read If I Stay and Once Was Lost. Loved them both!

    What are your plans for Sam's birthday? (PS, it's Sunday in case you forgot.)

    Also, did you ever figure out what your receipt note said?

  17. Wow! That's a freaky picture of Smokey! My husband, Corey, said that if he had a cat like that, he'd name it Pandora because he looks Hell spewed up a demon spawn. Don't ask me what that means....

    1. Jenni. My rank is Maggot and my serial number is not to be shared on the Internet!
    2. Debbie
    3. Put the goldfish on the floor by the tank. It'll look like they committed suicide. Mine really did that once. (Please don't commit icthyocide.)
    4. I wrote a paper for English and handed it in yesterday. Does that count? I used to read, but now I just study.
    5. All the young men.
    6. Brodi's awesome! And her followers aren't scary, for the most part. Mwahahahahahaha!

  18. Britt- Thanks for commenting anyway! You rock.

    Heather- I'm glad you liked the books. Thanks for the reminder about Sam's birthday. Would you mind calling me Sunday morning, just in case?

    Also, the writing on the receipt (that everyone thought said kively snot) really said:

    "Kicking Shadows".

    I know. I have the worst handwriting ever.

  19. Jenni- My Grandma's name was Pandora. Hee hee.

    And I would never commit itchyocide. I am a friend, and fan, of the itchies.

    Wherever Itchies are threatened, I'll be there!

    btw- What's itchyocide? Killing of fish?

  20. Questions:
    1. Ms. M. Classified.
    2. Traditional lurking. That, and a random tweet.
    3. Who doesn't? That fish is gonna be...swimmin' with the fishes? Wait...
    4. I blog, if that counts as writing. There are words in it. I read constantly. Compulsively, even. Cereal box at breakfast, shampoo bottle in the shower. The da Vinci Code once. It's like an illness.
    5. Everyone, if they know what's good for them. When those three walk into a bar, the shit's going down.
    6. You amuse me. (But I am easily amused). I am officially de-lurked.

  21. Misty- Yay! An official De-Lurker. Way to pick up the gauntlet (glove). I'll have to check out your blog. Welcome.

    lol'd at #3. and #4. Okay, and #5.

  22. LOL. Love the post! Let's see, since I'm not lurking, here are my answers....

    1. Gina, Blogger, Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers (
    2. Followed a tweet!
    3. Find a spunky red-headed girl that LOVES fishies (check Finding Nemo for references) (why do U want to off them anyway?)
    4. I read, blog and read some more! (YA fiction, fiction, chick-lit, fantasy....shall I continue?)
    5. Everyone else.
    6. Nope. Although I am rather curious about that cat pic. Can Smokey REALLY choose the winner? (talented, very talented)

    Thanks for such a fun post and contest! **crosses fingers to win** (but not for long, cuz then I can't type)


  23. I'm Gaby from NY and I'm new to your blog.

    Found you through twitter.

    I haven't kept pets in a long time, but I've killed quite a few plants. Some died of thirst, some froze, and some just wilted away. I'm not ready to take care of a pet!

    I'm trying to write, but I haven't yet gotten much done.

    thank you for the entry!

    gaby317nyc at

  24. Gina- Thanks for de-lurking!
    #3: I want to off them because they smell, and they require me to clean their tank, and I really really hate cleaning.

    #6: Smokey really can pick (or sniff) a winner out of a hat. But he can't read yet. (We're working on it). Can't wait to check out your blog!

    Gaby- Happy De-Lurk day! Thanks for reading. I'm always so excited to meet writers from around the country.

    I wish my fish were plants, because then I'd feel better about murdering them. (Plants can't scream. Wait a sec... Fish can't either. Okay, plants can't flop around.)

  25. Let's see.
    1. My name is Nicole. My serial number is 11171A (For the record, my twin has the same number followed by the letter B. Quite logical.)
    2. I found your blog WAY back in the day, but only publicy admitted it when I found out we have one friend in common.
    3. Don't know how to kill a fish. Ours always seeem to commit suicide. By drowning themselves.
    4. I'm taking a classic and making it contemporary with a twist. If nobody takes it, will resort to Brodi's friction method.
    5. My bet's on Ghandi as well.
    6. Ah, I have a real stumper. How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck...?

    I would absolutely LOVE to get an autographed copy of the Maze Runner! Especially since it doesn't appear that Mr. Dashner will make it down South anytime soon for a book signing. PLEASE! Ahem. I wasn't begging at all.

  26. Ooh, that hairless cat is about the freakiest animal I can imagine. But yeah, I'm all for people de-lurking. De-lurk, folks! De-lurk! Comments are like warm fuzzies for a blog writer. They need to know people are reading and appreciating what they write. And Brodi is about the coolest and most deserving blogger I know. ;)

  27. Questions:
    1. Robin, #3, 6976 (or is that my bar number...)

    2. Susan Jensen of recommended your blog. I'm still trying to figure out how much I owe her.

    3. If Shadow was a real cat, he'd know.

    4. I read voraciously and write... well, I'm shooting for "plodingly." Writing YA fantasy, but I'll read anything that doesn't make me think too hard. I do my thinkin' at work.

    5. Ghandi wouldn't leave until his hunger strike was over. The Priest wouldn't leave until all the sinners were baptized. The Rabbi wouldn't leave until everyone agreed with his interpretation of the Torah. So... no one. Ever.

    6. 42. Also, when do the rest of us get to read your book? A snippet of your book? Will your agent allow you to post a sample chaper online? Hey! Lurkers! Help me out on this, huh?

  28. Not sure what i would come under as today is my first time on your blog.

    1) Donna B or Coistycat as known on twitter

    2) On Twitter

    3) Sorry No

    4) I'm a reader and read anything i can get my hands on & love being introduced to new genres & authors.

    5) Not me LOL

    6) Not sure if people from the uk can enter this giveaway but if not i have had fun anyway

    Donna xx

  29. 1. My name is Kayla, my rank is M.O.M. (Moderately Off-beat Matron) and I lost my serial number in the pocket of my jeans along with the slip of paper telling me who inspected my pants.
    2. I found your blog through my darling friend Debbie
    3. Just slip real food into the tank. My kids do this all the time, and we have never kept a fish more than a month... I'd recommend something like Fruity Pebbles or Twinkies since they have the least in common with anything produced by nature.
    4. I like to write, I just haven't done a whole lot. I love to read. Pretty much anything will do, but I love YA fantasy and cozy mysteries.
    5. The bartender would walk out... because if all three of those guys walked in it was obviously a heavenly sign that he needed a new job. :)
    6. If you were in a apocalyptic battle against brain sucking jellyfish who would you want to fight beside you?

    Officially de-lurking.

  30. Susan here. Found you through Sydney Salter's link.

    We bought a betta in October 2008 for my daughter to use as a prop as she portrayed Rachel Carson. Figured it would last a week. Damn thing won't die. And that water gets super slimy after three weeks. No wonder some people choose to flush.

    I'm finishing revisions on a MG, then plan to hunt/stalk/track an agent. Aargh.

  31. Nicole- Have you heard back on your #5 yet? I'm so happy you happened to find a mutual friend in Georgia! The South is represented.

    Nikki- Thanks, chica. You wanna know the best thing about a hairless cat? They don't shed. They just leave oil slicks all over the house, unless you bathe them twice a week. Hairless cats practically sell themselves!

    #5- Hilarious! #4, shoot for ploddingly! That's the mantra in my house: aim for mediocre!

    #6 I think I'm about to go out to the xerox machine in our back yard and print my own books at this point. ha ha. Hopefully they'll be available at some point while I'm still alive.

    Donna B- Of course you can enter! Only because hubby and I went to graduate school in the U.K. and I'd do anything for that there country.

    #1 ha!
    #3, I would, but I value twinkies too much.
    #5. Good point.
    #6 Air

    (Because in the apocalyptic battle against brain-sucking jellyfish, there should be no greater weapon than an over-abundance of air.)

  32. Susan- Thanks for making your way here! If I could get over the guilt, I'd flush my little suckers.

    Good luck in the agent-stalking... er querying. MG's are hot!

  33. Susan, you manage to go 3 weeks before the water gets slimy? I'm changing the water every week. Blasted fish were supposed to be low maintenance....

  34. my name is jill. all other info is classified.

    i have known you for to many years to try and count at this hour. but found your blog on facebook.

    killing fish is easy and very easy to make look like an accident. the bowl gets so slimy and green, right? so to get rid of that awesome grossness you have to use bleach. just don't rinse the bleach water out all the way. it only took a few seconds and they were belly up. for me it was a total accident, for you maybe not so much.

    i would love to read, but after getting seven kids, on top of being prego with number 8, to bed for the night, sometimes several times, i pretty much am snoring by the second page.

    i'm skipping your joke for now, maybe i will come back to that one later.

    and last of all, i have a joke to go along with the toilet paper joke from heather. maybe you have heard it but it is my favorite. WHAT DO YOU CALL A CONSTIPATED GERMAN? FARFROMPOOPIN!!

    and 2 last little things....i love your blogs!! always bust a gut. i always look forward to the next one. keep it up!! and your cat scares me!!!

  35. brodi
    you could always "accidentally" flush the fish down the toilet.

    i am ashamed to admit we did that once.

    sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do, kwim?

  36. 1. Becky
    2. Your niece told me about it
    3. No, but my sister is pro. She killed three fish while fish-sitting the nieghbors'
    4. I used to read fun books, now I only have time for textbooks
    5. Gandi
    6. What is the most interesting reaction you have gotten to your hairless cat? (screaming, heart attack, cuddling)

  37. Britt- I know! At this point, I'd rather be shoveling poop.

    Anonymous- a.k.a. Jillybean- So good to hear from you! Wow, number eight, huh? You're amazing. Loved the constipated german joke. As for the hairless cat, you remember how allergic we are to cats? Well, it's even worse with a hairless cat!

    Dorien- I think I need to just hire a hitman to come flush them down the toilet for me.

    Becky- Wow, everyone's picking Ghandi. Interesting.

    As for the hairless cat reactions... When we first got him, I was surprised at how cuddly he was, and I instantly fell in love with him. Then, when he met my extended family, I was shocked they didn't feel the same way! Like, they wouldn't touch him! They were scared of him.

    I don't get it. Still don't.

  38. I've read The Maze Runner and it was awesome so you don't need to enter me in the contest. Just wanted to comment on that cat. Is that really yours. Is it furry at all? I don't think I'd like cats if they didn't have soft fur. Well, at least you don't have to worry about shedding. I heard they're oily. Sounds gross. I'm sure you love her, him - it?

  39. Officiall De-lurking because I have to apologize for being a princess whose shoes are too tight.

    1. Book Em Dano is my name
    2. Debbie Cranberry Fries posted a link to a giveaway Heather from fire & ice was having, your blog is linked there and here I am. Oh yea plus I've met you a few times and think you're adorable.
    3. Do you know how to kill goldfish and make it look like an accident? - Yes buy other fish from the fish store with Ick and let them die that way (it worked for our fish tank)

    4. Do you write? Nope, not even Thank you Notes. But I do read and I do support local authors so once your book gets published I'll be at your book signing with my pompoms rooting for you.

    I can't believe you are going to Las Vega instead of coming to our book club party. scratch comment #4

  40. Mary- The cat was mine, but then we found out I'm just as allergic to the hairless cats as I am to the hairy ones. So thankfully my sis-in-law adopted him.

    We like to think he's just at her house visiting...

    Here's a pic of me with smokey:

    Book Em Dano- Vegas definitely has nothing to offer over your book club party, but unfortunately the tickets are already bought. Although, we're driving, so I don't know to what tickets I am referring. But some point of no return has been crossed!

    Take pictures for me.

  41. 1. Name, rank and serial number

    I'm Leena.

    2. How did you find the blog?

    You are my dear auntie.

    3. Do you know how to kill goldfish and make it look like an accident?

    My little sister overfed a fish and then put a towel around the bowl so no one would find out...does that count?

    4. Do you write? Read? If so, what?

    I write in my journal. The most recent book I read is Kafka's novella 'Metamorphosis.'

    5. If a Priest, a Rabbi, and Ghandi walk into a bar, who's walking out?

    Depends on who's telling the joke, I guess.

    6. Anything else you'd care to share? Anything on your mind? Anything you'd like to ask me?

    As a poor, starving college student, don't you think I should have a good book like the Maze Runner to read?

  42. 1. Lizzy, intern, chex. Oops, was that serial or cereal?
    2. My crazy aunt suggested it!
    3. Give the fish food to Beckham. He'll be overfeeding them in no time.
    4. I write in my journal, read words, sentences, paragraphs, etc.
    5. Gandhi
    6. I miss you!

    De-lurkers, it's not as scary as you think!

  43. Leena- Kafka's Metamorphosis? You are so much smartier than me. The future of the world is in good hands!

    Lizzy- I miss you too! How is everything on the East Coast?