Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What happens when you're driving and you get a killer idea... and Kid C's First Funeral


Well, judging by the comments from Monday's post, I'd say my readers are back from their holiday break, and they brought some friends with them. Welcome!

Or maybe I just had a lot of comments because Josh Berk promoted my post by saying "Don't click if you're offended by the word 'booby'. " I'd totally click on that. I know a lot of you would too.

If that's how you found my blog, that works too. Welcome. Introduce yourself.

1. So, I've been really delving into my book lately because I want to send it to Sherpa Ted as soon as possible. This means I'm in the zone. Like, driving down the road, running red lights, striking stray soccer balls, squashing squirrels in the zone. (See? I wasn't even trying to alliterate. Boo Yah!)

Yesterday, while I was driving, I got a flash of inspiration, and I had to write it down before I forgot. Only it was a green turn arrow, and I had to push on the gas, plus steer the car. So I scrounged around for a piece of paper (a receipt) and, using the steering wheel as a desk, I wrote down my killer idea. The one that couldn't wait for a red light. The breakthrough.

I picked up Kid B from his school and took him home, and in that short amount of time, my brain squirted out all its inspirational juices, and I blanked on my idea. Thank goodness I had the receipt.

I took it out of my pocket and this is what I saw:

Any way I look at it, all I see are the words "kitchen snot".

Now, my blog may be full of snot and other bodily juices, but I know for a fact snot would not be appropriate for my novel. Especially kitchen snot. Come to think of it, I don't even think my main character has ever been in her kitchen.

Can anyone else figure out what it says? "Kibble Snat"? Does that ring any bells? "Kively Squit"?

I guess it doesn't matter if I'm awake or asleep. I still can't read my writing.

2. We went to Sam's Uncle's funeral on Saturday. Clifton was a good man, and we didn't want to miss it, even though it meant we had to take our kids.

As we were in line at the viewing, I tried to explain life stuff to Kid C.

me: "We're standing in line to see Uncle Clifton"

Kid C: "But I thought he was dead."

me: "He is, but we're going to see his body. It's not really Uncle Clifton, though. It's just his body."

Kid C: "Just his body?"

me: "Yep."

Kid C (giving me a horrified look): "Then what did they do with his head?" ...and then a little louder... "Where's Clifton's head?"

Yep. Kid C can be very literal. Next time, we're getting a babysitter.

So, what are y'all up to this week?


  1. Brodi it says 'kidney snort'. That makes way more sense.

    I've done a few of those ideas while driving too. Then I get home and realize I've been writing my grocery list. Drat.

  2. Kidney snort! Thank you. I can totally work that into my story. It's going to be fabulous.

  3. How impressive are you? You can locate a tiny receipt and write down tiny words while gassing the car thru a green turn arrow? It would be even more impressive if he was legible. Whoever says that it is not safe, is crazy!

    After your talk with Kid C, I took him up to look at the body. As usual, half of the casket was closed. Kid C looks a bit confused and says rather loudly, 'Why does he no longer have legs, what did they do to his legs.' He look relieved when I let him know that he still had legs, they were just under the bottom half of the casket door.

  4. Sam- would you rather have me drive safe, and risk losing my idea?

    That Kid C. I think I already had him confused about which body parts would be attached when he asked you about the legs.

  5. Perhaps kidney shot? Haha inspiration comes at the darndest times, eh?

    I've been in church before, scribbling on my program. I know, such blasphemy :)

  6. LOL

    Oh my goodness.... must catch breath....

    (Don't worry, I'm always trying to catch my breath these days... baby invading the diaphragm...)

    I swear I never want to take a child under 9 to a viewing... I hate viewings. And that creepy Star Trek episode with Beverly Crusher's grandma is totally to blame.

  7. Oh and I agree with Debbie, it totally says "kidney snort".

  8. That's hilarious! Where's the head? Ha,ha.

  9. It's either,
    vibedy snat
    nibedn snad
    niuedy jnad
    violdy snact
    Hope that helps.

  10. kibedy snaf?

    did they find cliffords head?

  11. kivedy snort?
    liberty snarl?
    livedy snod?

  12. LOL!!!! Where is his head? Love it.

    That receipt reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry wakes in the middle of the night struck with brilliance and can't read it the next day. I'm sure you will figure it out!

    I'm on chapter 3.....I need to ask you how many words equates to how many pages in a book? I have no concept of size....considering who I am married to :)

  13. Melissa- I'm ashamed to admit some of my best work comes from writing in church.

    Britt- When are you due? I swear my lungs were the size of a quarter when I was about to give birth.

    Valynne- I know. He's so dang literal.

    Cherie- those suggestions do help, at least to rule out that many more possibilities.

    Dorien- Yes. Strangely it was attached to his body.

    Kim- I think it is Liberty Snod. That makes sense. And it's patriotic. And I'm all sorts of patriotic.

    Cam- Well, YA books tend to be anywhere from 50,000 words to 90,000 words in length (with some like Twilight going much longer). Adult books are more like 70,000 to 120,000 words, with Stephen King weighing in at about 640,000.

    Does that help?

  14. It's obviously "lively snack". Who wants a snack that just lies there like a bump on a log? By the way my word verification to leave this comment was "bolybept". Maybe you could work that into your NEXT book.

  15. It looks to me like kibedy snat, although that may not be helpful! I love Kid C, I have never seen a kid take things more literally than he does!

  16. I'm gonna vote for bibedy snarl. Um, maybe Cinderella's fairy godmother is going to make an appearance and turn your MC into a werewolf???

    And I'd completely forgotten about UNITS until I looked at that post. Yikes!

  17. Not until March. By which point I figure I'll be breathing like an emphysemic through a straw....

  18. Taffy- I never snack on things that just sit there. I prefer lively snacks. I think your translation has possibilities.

    Lulabell- Kibedy Snat would be a perfect fit... if I was rewriting The Jabberwocky.

    "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;"

    Jenilyn- Sorry to remind you of that fashion disaster of the 80's. :)

    Britt- Hang in there. Whenever I'm having an asthma attack, I've given Sam the go-ahead to stab my air pipes with a pen casing, like Father Mulcahy did in that one MASH episode.

    Homemade tracheotomy. Or maybe I'm the only one who watches enough MASH to know how to do this.

  19. I totally watch enough MASH to know how to do that... but I don't think I could do it to myself...

    Have you ever read Alan Alda's books? In one of them he talks about having surgery and the doctor's trying to explain it in layman's terms and Alda responds with the medical terms saying "I've done tons of those on MASH".

  20. I totally thought Kidney Snort too. ;)

  21. Britt- That's sorta how I feel when watching all those medical dramas. Whenever hubby complains of a stomach ache, I'm all, "Let's order a CBC, Chem 7, and include a tox screen. Stat."

    L.T.- Two votes for "Kidney Snort". Thanks!

  22. I've definitely got it. It says "viceroy 5 nots". In other words, you're writing a sci-fi novel and the viceroy is up for election and he receives 5 "nots". Does that mean he's kicked out of office? At which point he surely turns evil and employs all the forces of the dark side to wage an intergalactic war on humanity. No wonder you had to write that down. This is going to be huge!

  23. Heids- that sounds brilliant! Although, vaguely familiar too...

  24. I'd recognize that write-on-the-fly handwriting anywhere: I swear it's mine. That makes me the expert. Kissing snore. That's what it says. At least the snore part. Pretty sure. Mostly.

  25. Elena- Kissing Snore. I'll tell you this, the first word on your guess is the closest thing to the real word.

    I finally figured out what I wrote, because I was driving my car tonight, and the same song came on that I'd been listening to yesterday, and the same little snippet of lyrics that I thought was brilliant and I had to write it down.

    "Kissing" is close.

  26. I think it says Lively Snail. :) I think that can totally be worked into as a great idea. This is a children's book, right? ;)

    Kid C is hilarious. I love his comment. I probably would've thought the same thing too.

  27. Jenni- Lively snail... because what is a YA Paranormal Romance without the all-important lively snail? Thanks!