Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Winner of The Dark Divine, and Happy Birthday Sam! Here's a Chia Obama.

And the winner of the signed copy of The Dark Divine is:


email me your address (email addy in side bar).

1. So, Sam got the coolest birthday present from his sister. Presenting... Chia Obama

Hail to the Ch-Ch-Ch-Chief.

You can even choose between "Happy" Obama and "Determined" Obama.

Personally, I think "Happy" Obama looks a little too much like George W. Bush. Like he's laughing at a dirty joke none of us heard.

Sam was excited to get "Determined" Obama, because considering the economy right now, it would be a little inappropriate if Obama was anything but determined.

2. Our three goldfish have gone to live on a farm. Not the one in the sky, but one right here on earth, where they can run and jump and there are no fences and no borders. Where they'll be happy, frollicking in the grass.

My friend Leisha said that sounds like an "All Kill Fish Shelter".

Anywho, we exchanged the three goldfish for one Betta (Kid C named him Chopie) and one little tiny snail (Quid. He wanted to name him Liquid, but we shortened it to Quid.)

I am happy to be rid of the goldfish... I mean, to send them to the farm, because they are so darn dirty. And they're not the brightest bulbs in the fishbowl. We'd put them in another bowl while we cleaned the tank, and instantly that new bowl would be filled with poo.

Not only that, they kept trying to eat the poo, and then they'd hurry and spit it out. And they never learned their lesson.

They'd go around in circles, saying:

"Hey, Food! ... Nope, poo."
"Food! ... Nope, poo."
"Yay! Food! ... Nope, poo."
"Food! ... Nope, poo."
"This time it's food! ... Nope, poo again."

I'd stand over the fish bowl and yell, "It's all poo!"

And they'd see me near the bowl, and they'd assume I had just fed them, and they'd look around anxiously.
"Food! ... Nope, poo."

So, how's everyone else's week going?


  1. I love that I can always count on your blog for a morning laugh. The food/poo thing is the best. Thanks!

  2. Goldfish are definitely not very smart. I had a betta once. I named him Photi. I miss him. I had him trained to swim excitedly when it was time to eat. It was really cute.

    I like the name of the snail. I think it's quid pro quo. Okay, that didn't come out as good as I thought it sounded in my head.

    The Chia Obama is awesome! I love that the plant/herbs make him look like he has an Afro.

  3. I agree, the food/poo thing is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

  4. Our Beta jumped out of his bowl just last night... it freaked us out for a bit, but then after being thrown back in, he recovered nicely. We looked it up and learned they can live out of water for quite awhile... so keep your eye on him, but if he jumps out and looks dead, thrown him back in anyway and he'll probably come back to life!

  5. Nikki- Hope I didn't gross anyone out!

    Jenni- We're just trying to train our betta to quit jumping on the guests.

    Jenilyn- Thanks.

    Suey- Great. Suicidal Betta's. Should be fun. If this one ends up on the floor, his next bowl will be the toilet. We're strict around here.

  6. our beta did the same thing---
    (jumping out of the bowl) right down the sink drain one day when grace was cleaning the bowl.

    i guess it wanted to commit suicide? a suicidel/dal/dle (how DO you spell it?) fish.

    how yours is the non jumping kind~

  7. Chia Obama - that's hysterical. Love it. Congrats... I mean sorry about your fish. My husband wanted fish and I told him I'm never, ever going to clean the tank. No fish in this house.

  8. Brodi, I love your mind! And your poo/food fish dialog. Made my day.

  9. Dorien- Mine is definitely the non-jumping kind. We specifically requested one without feet.

    Mary- I always said that too. Until the kids went to a Halloween party last year and "won" the fish. I was suckered into being a pet-owner.

    Leisha- You had me cracking up for a long time last night!

  10. Hey weren't we joking about a chia Obama at our last writing retreat? Or at least a chia something or other?

    Glad you can still make me laugh even though I am too sick for our usual writing day. I hate winter. And colds. And being cold in general.

    So I had a Beta fish in high school and I think that it pooed just as much as your goldfish. That thing stank up my entire bedroom.

  11. Once at a drama meet I gave a monologue called "Hot Dogs: The Most Despicable Food on the Planet".

    I could probably have changed "hot dogs" and "Food" to "Goldfish" and "Pet" and not changed anything else.

    Goldfish are the opposite of air fresheners. Why aren't we blaming them for global warming??

  12. I gave our goldfish back to the store. And advice for aunts/uncles: Goldfish (or any fish of the 10-gallon tank variety) are NOT good presents for 2-3 year olds. Ever.

  13. Bree- I specifically requested a Beta fish that doesn't poo. Genetically engineered.

    Sal- Goldfish are to blame for Global Warming and World Hunger! Let's start a grassroots movement.

    L.T.- Yes, they should never be given away as presents, or as prizes, or rewards.

  14. In our duplex we can't have pets so my hubby keeps talking about possibly getting the kids a fish. I kept putting it off even though I was sorta ok with the idea. However right before Christmas the grocery store here had all these gifts out around the store and my kids saw this
    and watched it for about 5 minutes with my hubby while I ran around and finished the shopping. I bought two that same day for Christmas gifts. Now they're REALLY bright night lights for the kids and they sorta feel like they have pets. Plus NO poo! :) Haha

  15. By the way just in case that url is cut off it's "jpg" at the end to pull up the page. :)

  16. I grew up with Chia pets in my house, so getting an Obama one for my birthday was very, very special.

    Yep, the pooping goldfish had to go. They found a good home. Welcome home to Chopie and Quid. I think it is going to be a beautiful relationship.

  17. Debbie- Do you think my fam would noticed if I swapped out our fish tank for that one?

    Sam- We should've named them Bogey and Bacall, and trained one of them to be the leader of the French resistance and the other one to be a bartender, and then Chopie could say, "Of all the tanks in all the seas in all the world... you're dropped into mine."

    Wait, you were making a Casablanca reference, weren't you?

  18. Aren't you glad your boys won those goldfish? Pets are so good for kids. Think of the life lessons they have learned from them already, never feeds you and poo is yucky. They will never forget that lesson:)

    Love the Chia Obama!

  19. Chia Obama is funny! I'm coming over from Mary's.

    My week is really putting the pen to paper with my chapter edit. I have a critique meeting coming up next week- my first! Yippee!

  20. Erin- I seem to recall a certain sister of mine going, "Here! Take our goldfish too. What a great experience for your kids?"

    You just didn't want them, did you?

    Tamika- good luck with the edits! What do you write?

  21. Oh no! I am in love with the fact that there are two different Obama faces.

    I approve of determined face but I sure dig happy Obama. Smiling Obama makes me smile. Even with the crapper economy.

    It's like a baby smiling. You can't frown at a smiling baby. You can't frown at a smiling Barack.

  22. Olivia- Maybe when we're out of the economy mess, and looking back on it, I'll splurge on the happy Obama, and pinch his cheeks, and say "coo-chie coo."

    Or maybe I'm just hopped up on decongestants right now. Yeah, that's it.

  23. Is it just me or does Chia Obama look more like Chia Will Farrell?

  24. Susan- I think you might be right. But in real life, I get those two mixed up all the time. Thanks for the comment!

  25. Growing a determined Obama is great for our economy. The Happy Obama is a wee bit creepy IMO, and might be detrimental to Wall Street. Bankers are such serious folk. They wouldn’t appreciate the secret joke.

  26. Mary- Cool! I will check it out.

    Douglas- You're probably right. Bankers are not known for their senses of humor.